Peter PASSES . . . but FAILS to come home

Wednesday, January 7, 2009
The same boys that hurl rocks and insults over our back wall were spotted by Brendan and the neighborhood kids walking along the road outside our house. When I went out to talk to them they ran away. I had the boys go get the security guards and then tried to follow them in my car but lost them. I located the security guard and told him the situation and got his phone number so I could call him if we saw them again. About half an hour later, they were back on our wall so I called security and the guard said he would be right over. I can’t say that they have a “rapid response system” in place. As he ambled over, Gideon said those boys went to his school and were bullies. When the security arrived, he tried to find a place to climb up and look over the wall. I thought maybe it would be better to sneak up on them but he chose to say something and, imagine, the boys were gone by the time the guard could look over.

Thursday, January 8, 2009
I must say that there has been a big improvement in one way the neighborhood children relate to each other. They still make lewd gestures and stone living creatures BUT they have made a huge change in behavior when someone gets hurt (a daily occurrence). Usually everyone laughs at whoever gets hurt and makes fun of them. But now, when someone gets hurt, they ask if they are OK, pat them on the back, carry them to the front porch to show me, and yell at anyone who starts to laugh. I think they are proud of the compassion they show each other and beam whenever I comment on it.

The boys are busy working on another hole together with all the neighborhood kids. It is in the same place that the “swimming pool” was dug although they shifted it a bit to avoid the water pipes they discovered last time. They have been working on it every day and retire at the end of each day covered with red clay and dirt. But they are happy. We are getting a lot of mileage out of that area under the mango tree. Soon they will lose interest in the hole and Peter will request the boys to fill it back in again. Then a month or so later, another digging project will emerge. This will probably be one of those things for the boys that captures the essence of growing up in Africa.

Saturday, Jan 10, 2009
MEF internet has been mostly not working these last few days. It was pretty amazing that I actually got my blog sent. But I haven’t had much luck since. Today I finally decided to walk over the internet café housed on the other side of campus. Since I didn’t feel comfortable leaving the boys at home, they rode their bikes along with me. After an hour of trying to retrieve my messages, I finally gave up. It was hot, the boys were bored and pestering me, I was running out of battery, and I still didn’t have anything to show for my time or money. I couldn’t even load a page on Wall-E for the boys to look at! I think a few messages were sent but the connection kept failing and then it would have to start all over getting my messages. There was just enough activity to keep me hoping but finally it was just too much. It dawned on me that I had similar problems last time I tried this place. So when the attendant took my money (what I paid for I really do not know!) he told me I should come back tomorrow and try again. Not meaning to be rude but completely fed up, I replied, “I am never coming to this place again!” And I mean to keep that promise, at least until I forget and MEF’s internet isn’t working and I can’t get into town and . . . and . . .

Sunday, January 11, 2009
It was a relaxing morning. The boys and I had home church together and then, when the boys went outside to continue digging, I put on worship music and spent time cross-stitching. It was really lovely. Aruni came over in the afternoon to chat for awhile and then we got a call from friends that they were having a braai (BBQ) and remembered that Peter was out of town so they invited us. It was nice of them to invite us but I felt a bit like a third wheel since these families are close friends and their kids had just had a sleepover the night before. Their kids are older which makes things more difficult for my boys, who seem very young and sheltered in comparison (though their youngest is only a year older than Brendan). The kids watched movies the whole time, movies that I probably wouldn’t have allowed my kids to watch (thankfully, they didn’t catch most of it but focused on the slapstick parts that were funny to them). It gave us all something to do so for that I am grateful. I miss Peter.

Monday, January 12, 2009
I was really hoping that I could check internet today. With Peter away, and it being expensive for him to call me, I was hoping to keep connected to him by email. That has proved a challenge. I have been unsuccessful in all my attempts since Thursday. MEF’s internet wasn’t working Friday, Saturday’s attempt at Cavendish was a nightmare, Sunday was Sabbath so no frustration there but no emails either, so today I thought it was finally going to work. I went to Peter’s office and found people working on the internet. They thought it would be fixed in half an hour. So I waited and waited. An hour later, it still wasn’t functional. I asked them again and they said that for sure it would be fixed in another hour. Since I had to be at the boys’ school in an hour, I knew that wouldn’t work. (And at 5:30 tonight I heard it still wasn’t up and running.) So I quickly went home and drove to town. The first internet café I tried had been closed down. So I tried the next one. Peter called from Prague just as I arrived at that internet café. I wanted to talk to Peter and at the same time, I was running out of time to get my emails. I tried to do both but I was unsuccessful. I thought I could plug in and start downloading while talking to Peter but it wasn’t that easy. Peter graciously said he would call me back in the afternoon. Meanwhile, the attendant at the café tried to get me connected several ways, including wireless, and nothing worked. I was in tears by the time I left. Not only did I blow my chance to talk with Peter, I still didn’t have my email. If I hurried, I thought I could try one more place quickly before going to the school but the traffic was so horrendous, it was soon obvious that once again, I would strike out today. I was disappointed with myself for not just giving up and focusing on Peter as he is anxious about tomorrow’s defense. That brought on more tears. Phooey.

I shouldn’t have let my frustrations about the internet, missing Peter, and the fatigue of being asked for money get to me but it did. There has been a steady stream of people needing money this week and that wears on me. We were able to help Emanuel with school fees for his children, thanks to a gift from friends from PMC. Brendan took notice of this exchange and knows the people who gave the money and it had a positive impact on him. The next day, another acquaintance asked for a sizable loan and I gave it to him because he has money coming to him from our friend Jenny and I know it will truly be a loan. The day after that, a man came to my door with a note from a doctor that this man needed money for treatment of his gonadal ulcers. He went on and on explaining the pain in his private parts and how he couldn’t sleep and other details that I am trying to forget. I gave him a little cash and watched him walk gingerly away. Then the same acquaintance from the other day came back asking for more of a loan and his friend, Samuel, was with him. I only gave him half his request that time and said he needed to find another way for the rest. Now today, Samuel shows up on my doorstep and he too wants a loan. Ironic, isn’t it? I put it to him straight. He has not come to me for a loan before so why now? I asked him where he would go if I wasn’t around. Who would he turn to? Again, it was Jenny who normally gives him an allowance passed on by a foreigner who has returned home. I kept pushing him, asking if Jenny would give him this advance on his allowance. He insisted she would. I told him that it was odd that he would come to me for a loan, having never done that before, after seeing Richard do the same. He denied any connection. Then I got a mini-sermon on goodness knows what all and thankfully, it was interrupted by Jason who had a thorn stuck in his foot and was screaming his head off. In the end, I did give him the money because it was for a small business that he has going and if he didn’t have this loan, he would lose out on even more business. Maybe I am a sucker. Maybe I am generous. But either way, today it is not with a happy heart.

I was able to talk to Peter again this evening. It was much better than this morning but I really just wanted to talk to him in person, to encourage him before his defense tomorrow. The connection wasn’t great, plus there was a delay, and it had to be enough but I wanted more. I wish I could support him in person but it couldn’t be that way. As if he didn’t have enough to think about with tomorrow’s defense, he just found out that Zambian Airways, his last leg home, has suspended all their flights. It is unclear if this is permanent or temporary and exactly how he will get home. Peter is good at focusing on the task at hand and compartmentalizing much better than I, so I’m sure he will be able to tell himself that he will deal with it after his defense and actually do just that.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Peter passed!!! He was on my mind all morning and I was praying for him so much. I know that others were praying for him as well. I got a call from Peter in the afternoon and heard how it all went. The examiners asked hard questions but Peter did the best he could to answer and he got through it. He has to make some revisions, which is normal, and he will spend the rest of his time in Prague doing that. But something that I was very thankful to hear is that the external examiner was very pastoral even as he was doing a thorough examination. At the end, he affirmed Peter again and the quality of his work and reiterated that Peter is most definitely a scholar and able to contribute at this level. Most of us had no doubts in that area but it was good for Peter to hear that again!

Peter has been given the next several months to make the revisions and submit them. Then he will officially graduate and he will have a doctorate in theology! It is hard to believe that this long process is almost over. I’m sure Peter will be relieved when the revisions are completed and the burden will be completely lifted.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009
The boys received the movie “Wall-E” from Peter’s parents and watched it twice last weekend. We’ve been trying to talk about caring for the earth and how we can do that here but this movie helped it make sense to the boys. Brendan is excited and wants to do something about it. He has a plan to enlist the help of the neighborhood kids and clean up the MEF campus. Litter is a huge problem in Zambia and people have not been educated in this area. So today Brendan wanted to write a speech explaining the trash problem and what it does to the earth and his plan to keep MEF clean. We worked on it together for a long time and then we printed it out. Brendan gathered the kids on the porch and read the speech to them. Then he had them all start making signs to put up around MEF that encourage people to throw trash in bins and to keep MEF clean. There was a bit of giggling during the speech that annoyed Brendan but the kids also listened. We’ll see what happens.

Peter bought a great book for the boys for Christmas and his parents sent it out to us. The book is called, “Plant a Seed of Peace” by Rebecca Seiling and published by Herald Press. There are almost 50 stories of people in the Anabaptist/Mennonite family from the 1500s to the present day. There are stories of people who made courageous choices, others who used their gifts and talents to further the kingdom of God, and those whose actions continue to bear fruit. There are stories of martyrs, Christian Peacemaker Teams, missionaries, and, to the delight of the boys, Mennonite Central Committee service workers. The stories come from all over the world and from different time periods, representing a wide variety of contexts. The boys LOVE this book and beg for “just one more story.” It has generated a lot of discussions about war, martyrs, our treatment of Native Americans, loving our enemies, sacrifice, etc. Each story has a scripture verse that shows the foundation for the action. I am so glad the boys love this book and I think it has the power to educate them on our Mennonite heritage and the way of peace, something that we want to pass on but often don’t know how to do.

Thursday, January 15, 2009
I found an internet café in town that has high speed wireless internet. I could send and retrieve all my messages in fifteen minutes. Fabulous! Too bad I don’t make it into town every day otherwise I would become a regular at this joint.

Our muzungu friends at MEF are slowly starting to return. Doug is back after an extended visit back to Canada. He will be here until May or so. Jenny was supposed to return yesterday from a vacation in South Africa but she too had the misfortune of having her flight cancelled by Zambian Airways, who I hear has completely folded. She will come back tomorrow instead. And Bob is now back after traveling through several countries over the last few weeks. We invited him over to have dinner with us and he could do his laundry too. The boys were ecstatic to have him here and talked a mile a minute. After dinner, Brendan and Bob had a long conversation while I bathed Jason and played Dino-war with him. I got to hear of Bob’s many adventures over the last few weeks. His descriptions of Zanzibar reminded me that we really want to try to get there before our term is over.

Friday, January 16, 2009
Peter called and I really wanted to talk to him but his voice was so fuzzy, I couldn’t make out what he was saying. He tried calling again to get a better connection but it was still difficult. Makes you not want to even bother. Disappointing.

I have been trying to introduce MEF to the African Indigenous Christian Counseling training that I facilitate. I wanted to make them aware of the materials to see if it would be beneficial for the institution. So next Monday I am supposed to finally do the training that had been originally scheduled for the beginning of Nov., then the middle of December, and finally now for mid-January. I went into the office that is supposed to be coordinating this to confirm that the training was actually going to happen. I was assured that it most definitely was going to happen. I even gave him an out and said I understood that the participants would soon be here and a lot of new programs were beginning so maybe this wasn’t the best time to try to pull in administration for this training. But he insisted that it was important and it would happen. He was going to be having a meeting this morning to firm up all the plans so I went in this afternoon to check what progress had been made. I found out that Mr. Katebe was in Lusaka so no meeting had occurred, nothing had been done about the training, and his secretary was really doubtful it would happen. She promised to call him and find out more and then call me but I never received a call. I can’t imagine that he would notify all the administrators before 8:45 on Monday morning and manage to gather them all for this training that they have never heard about. But stranger things have happened and I may find out five minutes before that it is going to happen after all.

I spent two hours trying to get emails and finally was able to send but not receive. As I left, I ran into the IT guy. When I asked about the internet, he said, “Oh yes, it is working now and it gets better every day!” Who are you kidding?

There have been more requests for piece work, money to feed a family member in prison, money for new school shoes, etc. And the guy who is staying in the guest wing next to us all week really loves his music. There is only a locked door separating us and an open vent above it, so it feels like he is practically in my living room. He continually plays the song “Lady in Red” and sings in his falsetto voice.

Ah, Zambia.

Sunday, January 18, 2009
We’ve almost made it! Peter comes home tomorrow and we are all terribly excited. But it has been better than expected without him (except for the internet troubles). The boys and I have had a good time reading, playing games, watching movies, creating with Legos, doing homework, and talking. We had a few rough patches but overall, I was very pleased. Brendan and Jason are definitely maturing and that shows. Brendan pitched in to help me with dishes and other tasks. Jason gave me lots of hugs and snuggles and kept himself busy. One morning, Jason says to me, “I love it when we are together.” Ahhhhh.

Patric and Jemma came on Friday night for a sleepover. They play very nicely with the boys and we have very similar family rules so it is easy to have them over. They were all exhausted from the week but still had trouble falling asleep. Brendan and Patric were awake at 4:30 a.m., talking and laughing. I stumbled into their room and told them they HAD to sleep a bit longer. The next I heard them was 5:45 but they insist they never went back to sleep. They were all playing legos by 6 a.m. It made for a long morning but they did OK. After lunch I took Patric and Jemma home and they all went swimming for a bit while I chatted with Georgi and Greg. It made for a nice day although we were all quite tired by the evening.

Sunday was a day of rest for all of us. It has been raining a lot, mostly at nights but today it was during the day as well. With no kids on our porch and the boys hard at work on various projects inside, it truly was quiet and peaceful. Lovely.

Monday, January 19, 2009
Good thing I am in a pretty good frame of mind today because I by 9:00 this morning I had bad news on two counts. The money that I lent to the guys that Jenny distributes money to will probably not be seen again. Jenny said that they did not have anymore money coming to them this month. And they had already borrowed from her on next month’s money. When do you just forgive the debt and when do you hold them to it because they need to show responsibility? I guess we are out $50. Unless a miracle happens . . .

The second bit of bad news came in the form of a text from Peter. He was supposed to fly through the night from Frankfurt to Joburg and arrive here this afternoon. But his SMS said that after two hours into that flight, they had to turn back due to computer problems. Now he is stuck in Frankfurt and he will probably be delayed another 24 hours. I feel so sad for him, sitting in the Frankfurt aiport for a whole day and missing another night of sleep. He is going to be truly exhausted by the time he gets home. The boys are going to be so disappointed when they come home from school and get this news. Big bummer.

But I didn’t called last minute to do the training so that is good. It would have been extra hard to pull it off without Peter here to take the boys to and from school. Thank God for little blessings!