Happy Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

As Erin and I were driving into town to do our shopping at the market and Shoprite, we passed a gas station with long lines. We realized that there must be a gas shortage again, an occurrence that happens here in Kitwe time and again but something that has become a fact of life for our colleagues in Lusaka. As I swerved to avoid hitting the waiting cars, I looked down at my gas gauge and, I kid you not, the empty light came on at that exact moment. I knew I had a few more kilometers in reserve before I needed to worry so I kept going with my plans. When I went to pick up the boys from school, I went by three stations and could not find any petrol. I realized that if I took Brendan back in for afternoon activities and still couldn’t find gas, then the following morning would be a problem. So we hired a taxi to take Brendan back to school and Georgi brought him home. We were hoping that by morning, someone would have gas. It was my morning to take kids to school but Peter stood in for me, for which I was grateful, because I was worried that I would run out of gas and be stranded somewhere.

Peter went by several stations and found only one place where there was hope of getting gas. A tanker was emptying his load and the cars were already lined up halfway down the street. Order and efficiency is not a strong suit in situations like this so don’t imagine getting gas at Costco where all the cars enter from one direction and you choose which lane to pull into based on which side your tank is located. Ha! Everyone pulls in every which way and creates major tangles and chaos reigns supreme. Peter waited in line for 2 1/2 hours but he finally came home with a full tank. My hero!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Last night I held my second anger management workshop for parents at Lechwe. We had asked parents who were interested in attending to return a slip indicating they were coming. By Wednesday afternoon, only two people had signed up so the head teacher and I thought it best to call it off. But when I went to stand with the other parents to fetch our kids, several more said they were planning on coming but hadn’t bothered to turn in a slip. We decided to go ahead with it afterall and seven parents showed up, three of which weren’t actually part of Lechwe but had heard good things about the last one I did and wanted to attend.

Despite a moth infestation that had me batting away moths while I spoke and digging them out of the back of my collar, the evening went well. Those that were present, were there because they wanted to learn and that made it easier. The next day, I chatted with two of the people who had attended the seminar. One reported that a father who had come last night who has a reputation for a vicious temper called her that morning to say that he felt more calm than ever before. The other parent said that her sister who had also attended, had realized that she actually handles her anger in a pretty constructive way and was glad to have been affirmed in that. You never know how these seminars will impact people and I try to hold both criticism and praise lightly. But it always is my hope that something in the seminar will strike a chord within someone which will lead to change and greater wholeness.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

This weekend I was back down in Lusaka to finish off the trauma workshop for the Peace Clubs that I did a few weeks back. Since Peter also had to travel to Lusaka to pick up his work permit at Immigration, we decided to drive down as a family. On the way down Friday morning, I received a text message from Peggy with bad news. Peggy’s sister, Patricia (the one who helped her with the restaurant) had a six year old son who died from a snake bite that morning. My heart breaks for this family, four orphaned sisters who are now down to three, mistreated by their father’s family who “adopted” them, and now this tragedy. It’s too much.

We ran errands in the afternoon and had high hopes of going bowling in the afternoon only to find out that the bowling alley is no more. Bummer. Brendan and Jason are getting much better and handling disappointments like this, perhaps because they have a lot of practice. In the evening, while having dinner with Eric and Kathy, the house was suddenly filled with flying termites. After the rains, they all hatch and they are absolutely everywhere. Kathy tore off the wings and fried them up in a bit of oil so that we could all try this delicacy. I ate one (thank heavens they are small) and they weren’t horrible. The first bite tasted a bit like groundnuts (peanuts) but the next bite was definitely more “buggy.” I challenged the boys to both eat one and offered to pay them each K10,000 ($2) to make it a bit more appetizing. Brendan popped one in his mouth and swallowed it down like it was his Sunday morning malaria prophylactic. Jason chewed his up and then swallowed and commented, “It’s not so bad.” Termites aren’t bad but potatoes are horrible??? C’mon kid! Maybe I have to make an addition to my menu to accommodate his tastes.

Saturday I led my workshop on trauma. Due to the rains and the flooding in Kanyama (remember all the boulders that I showed before?), people had a hard time getting there on time but eventually arrived with black rubber boots, a necessity during rainy season if you live in these compounds. The morning went well with the participants engaging in a creative exercise called the River of Life, where people draw their life story using the metaphor of a river. For some this was difficult, especially for the Congolese refugee who began his sharing with “I am an unfortunate man.” But they were excited to have a tool they could use with their students in the Peace Clubs instead of relying on only talking. In the afternoon, I shared with them my curriculum on anger management since they had specifically requested this so that they could also share this with their students.

Because it was the final day of the five week workshop (I only taught the first and last), lunch was being cooked for everyone on the premises. When 1:00 rolled around and it was time for lunch, we were informed that it would be an hour later so I was instructed to keep teaching. An hour later, it was still not ready so I plugged on, though admittedly a bit tired by then after teaching since 9:30. Finally, I finished my material at 3:00 and the food was ready as well. Thankfully, the teachers present were eager to learn and I saw only one nod off during our extending learning. Not bad out of 32 participants!

Now Issa knows how to do graduation ceremonies the proper way. It probably helped that he had American money in which to do this (the workshops were funded by a grant by the American embassy, your tax dollars at work). First we had our late lunch and I was seated at the head table with the principal of the school where we were located, as well as with Issa and YoungMi. We had our own bowls of food, enough to feed thirty people but it was only for us four. There was nshima, rice, potatoes, beef, chicken, fish, cooked cabbage, relish (a kind of sauce for nshima), and coleslaw. I tried the fish which “wasn’t my favorite” but I really like the way Zambians make their cooked cabbage so I ate that with the nshima. This kind of special treatment always makes me uncomfortable which makes Issa laugh. Finally, the participants were allowed to come to get food from our table as well, which had some items that they weren’t served in the regular lunch line. This preferential treatment happened again later during the graduation ceremony when cake was served. There were two round cakes, which the American Embassy representative ceremonially cut, and then one of the cakes was cut into eight huge pieces, to feed those of us at the now expanded head table. The other one was shared by the 32 participants and the five secondary school students who sang a few songs during the ceremony. That kills me.

While we were waiting for the festivities to begin, I chatted with a lovely gay man who also works at the American Embassy. I asked him how he has experienced Zambia, especially since homosexuality is not at all accepted here. Zambians are very friendly, he reported. And then he added, “There is no more discrimination here than we experience elsewhere.” “I’m sorry for that,” I said. In reply, he simply said, “Thanks.”

The rains began again after all the participants had received their certificates and stood for their “snap” (photo) with the American Embassy representative. I had hoped to get a group photo but everyone hurried off, hoping to make it home before the heavens really let loose. I couldn’t blame them for that as I got into my car to drive home. Peter and the boys were able to hang out with the Moellers in the afternoon and I joined them in the evening for dinner. Minutes after I got there, the power went out so we had a lovely candlelight dinner together. It’s nice to have other MCC families on the team and to have opportunities to connect with them outside of official team events.

We came home to another robbery, minor but still frustrating. What would a trip to Lusaka be if we didn’t return home to something missing? This time two towels were nicked off the drying lines in our enclosed porch. It was nice of them to use the portion of the screen that had been cut and mended previously rather than cut into a new section of screen in order to grab whatever they could reach. I guess now we know that we can’t have anything drying while we are gone. Live and learn.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

“Born in a barn, a Bethlehem barn . . .” This is the song I have stuck in my head after going to see Jason’s Christmas program at school last night and tonight. It was really a cute program with all the kids in Reception through Grade 2 singing their hearts out and doing the actions to go with the songs. Jason was a shepherd and I didn’t even recognize him with his beard and outfit. Jason’s favorite part of the program was at the end when they sang “I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas . . .” The second night, he even directed his hand motions right at me with a twinkle in his eye. What a sweetheart.

Lusaka gets everything first, even the annual flying termites hatching. But it was our turn now. We returned home last night to our porch flooded with the little insects and they were swirling around inside despite the screens on our windows. They lose their wings and then crawl around for awhile. I swept up as many as I could but in the morning, there were millions more wings everywhere (. . . but no bugs which is a bit disconcerting. I’m hoping the geckos had their own Thanksgiving feast.) It is hard to concentrate on reading a book or working on the computer when these flying termites are choosing to fly in your face, down the front of your shirt, landing on your hair, etc. Peter and I retired early to bed, taking refuge under our mosquito net and watching a movie on the computer. We didn’t cook up the bugs tonight, suddenly feeling very full, and consoling ourselves that once really was enough.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

It was Peter’s turn to lead the reflection at chapel this morning. Though I am not a usual attendee, I always appreciate hearing Peter’s spiritual insights so I made the effort to be present. What Peter shared was so powerful, so contextual, so relevant, that I asked him if I could share a summary of his reflection here. Modest as always, he was hesitant, but in the end, I prevailed.

Peter’s reflection in chapel

Abram and Lot: The Place of Blessing

Genesis 13:5-18

Abram has been called by God to go forth from his homeland to a strange, new place; he has been promised a blessing (I will make you great. You will be a blessing. All the families of the earth will be blessed in you.) There arises a conflict between Abram and his nephew Lot. The land—the land of blessing—cannot support all their livestock if they stay together.

Abram acts to address the conflict. But not in a way that we might expect. According to custom/tradition Abram was entitled to have first choice of the land. He is the patriarch, the respected elder of the clan. He has the right to take what he wants to and to give Lot something less.

Abram shows his faith; he believes in the promise of God, so he does not have to force his way into a place of blessing. Because he is coming to know who he is in his relationship to God, he can take a different approach.

This is similar to the story of Jesus in John 13:3-5 at the Last Supper. The text tells us that

“Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he came forth from God, and was going to God, arose from supper, and laid aside his outer garments. He took a towel, and wrapped a towel around his waist. Then he poured water into the basin, and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him.”

In a similar way, Abram seems to be grasping (slowly) that God is committed to him and to making something special of his life. He is beginning to understand by faith that God has a purpose for his life that it is beyond his immediate satisfaction. So Abram gives Lot the choice of where to settle with his herds. Lot takes the better land. But we are quickly reminded that it is God who does the blessing. God speaks to Abram in his act of faith to reaffirm the promise that he will be a great nation and will possess the land as far as he can see.

Today, let us be aware of situations in which we have a right/entitlement to the best; then let us begin to make choices that give someone less privileged the first choice. Rather than seeking the place of blessing for ourselves, let us seek to bless others by serving them with hearts full of faith and love. Turn your world upside down today by giving preference to those considered less than you. In this way, we will discover the blessing that God has for us that comes from putting the needs of others ahead of our own. If you are looking for a blessing, BE a blessing today.

After this inspiring chapel, I went to Lechwe to watch Brendan compete in a Quiz Show. The top two pupils from Grades 3-6 represented their “houses” (Kafue or Zambezi) and points were totaled to give the victory to one of the two houses. I was so proud of Brendan and the maturity he displayed during the competition. At the end of the Quiz Show last year, he swore he would never do that again. But this year he was up for the challenge. And what a challenge it was! All the pupils did really well, figuring out math problems in their head which would have taken me a calculator and a few days to solve. One category was “General Studies and Current Affairs.” Unfortunately for Brendan and his teammate, Emma, both their questions were Current Affairs. The first question was: “Which country won the 1999 World Championships in Cricket?” OK, how is this current when they weren’t even alive then? I now know it was Sri Lanka, and vaguely remember the BBC talking about that last year. Brendan gave a good guess (England) and just shrugged it off when it was incorrect. Grade 5 students were asked what the American National anthem was called and Grade 6 was asked who was the current president of the USA. Life is so unfair. Brendan’s other Current Affairs question was: “Which musician had a home called Neverland?” The rest of the kids seemed to know this one because all the kids in the audience shot their hands in the air even though they weren’t allowed to answer. Not knowing a lot of musicians, Brendan gave a good try with Beethoven. I personally think Beethoven is more newsworthy than Michael Jackson. In the end, Brendan’s house lost but throughout it all, Brendan showed poise and maturity. What a kid!

Today is American Thanksgiving but there was no big feast taking place in our household. Thanksgiving is a holiday where it seems to be all or nothing. Either you do the whole turkey (sometimes even killing it yourself), mashed potatoes, cranberries, and pumpkin pie thing, or you don’t. This year, we chose “don’t.” But then we read an interesting article sent out by a friend at PMC (thanks, Clare!). The title was provocative: “An Argument for Fasting on Thanksgiving.” After looking at the history of this holiday in the United States, and the myths surrounding the First Thanksgiving, one of which is that the English and Natives were great friends, the author exhorts us to engage in truth telling. The suffering of the Native Americans is appalling but that is often ignored when we talk about the First Thanksgiving. Being thankful is a good thing, but as Americans we have to be mindful of what this holiday says we are thankful for, given our horrible history of mistreating Native Americans. Truth-telling is a major part of justice and something that is particularly needed when recalling the settling of Europeans in North America and the subsequent oppression of Native Americans. The author, Tripp York, writes:

What I do know is that our celebration of Thanksgiving Day must take a different shape. Christians only have one true thanksgiving celebration and that is the Eucharist. The Eucharist means thanksgiving, and it is in our feeding on the broken body of Jesus that should enable us to better understand those bodies that were broken in order for us to be where we are today. This is not to equate the sacrifice of Jesus with the sacrifice of natives; rather, because we feed on a broken savior, we have the resources to better name those who have been, likewise, broken. I think that the most interesting, the most counter-cultural, the most subversive thing a Christian could do on Thanksgiving would be to fast. After fasting as a means of protesting the lies that have become a part of the mythos of the birth of this nation, we could cap the day off by celebrating the Eucharist. Perhaps then we might find a way to truthfully move forward in regards to our past with our native brothers and sisters.

(If you want to read the whole article, go to http://www.themennonite.org/issues/12-21/articles/WEB_EXCLUSIVE_An_argument_for_fasting_on_Thanksgiving)

Peter and I talked together and decided that we wouldn’t just ignore the holiday after all. As a family, we have been looking at the last three hundred years on our timeline and have read stories about the First Thanksgiving. We decided to share with Brendan and Jason the argument made in this article. We wanted to begin the truth-telling in our family. So before dinner, we sat down and talked about these issues together. And then we took the Lord’s Supper together as a family, remembering the suffering of Jesus and the suffering of so many people around the world, and especially remembering the suffering of the Native Americans in North America, who unfortunately continue to suffer because of the choices of our nation. And then, rather than fasting, we enjoyed a simple supper of lentil soup and homemade wheat bread (which I have to say was the BEST I have EVER made thanks to a new recipe shared by Kathy Fast). Jason choked down the lentils but devoured the bread, which more than made up for his own suffering at having to eat lentils, I should say. I must admit to having missed eating sweet potatoes with pecans, though. Who knows how or where we will do Thanksgiving in future years. Maybe it will include a turkey and all the trimmings or maybe not. But hopefully it will include a thankful heart and telling the truth.