Sunday, November 25, 2007
We tried yet another church this Sunday, Kitwe Evangelical Church. We were invited by Sung Sik and Shin Ae Park, Han Guyl’s parents. They are missionaries from Korea, working with SIM. We sang “Stand up, stand up for Jesus” and “Bringing in the Sheaves” as well as a few Bemba choruses. Peter liked this church more than I did. He wouldn’t say he liked it, I guess, more that he was intrigued by it. More discussions to follow. The Parks invited us to go out to lunch with them after the service. They took us to a nice take away place that has cheap shawerma. It was very easy to converse with them and I am glad that we are friends with another family of a school friend. New friends and a new place to eat out! Fabulous!
Tuesday, November 26, 2007
So you know how I asked for prayer for flexibility because nothing goes according to plan here? I had occasion to practice flexibility the very first day of class. Monday all the workers at MEF decided to go on strike to gain the freedom to unionize. Not only did they not work but they chose to lock the management out of their offices. Thankfully, the secretary of the Peace Center told the security men not to lock us all out so Peter and Jimmy could get into their offices. The participants who arrived that morning were not able to get keys to their accommodations because the receptionist is on strike. There was no tea served or lunch served because the kitchen staff are on strike. We could not get into the supplies closet to give the participants their materials for the class because that was locked. The water was not turned on because the man who does that is on strike. So you get the picture. All of management was called into a meeting with the director which meant Jimmy couldn’t teach a portion of the morning session so I had to step in. It was all a little crazy. Peter knows more about the whole situation than I do and it appears this has been brewing for several years. It was not clear when a resolution would be reached. Tuesday morning there was a minimal breakfast served but over half our participants didn’t get anything to eat. I quickly ran home and pulled some zucchini bread out of the freezer and brought that and juice so that they could have something in their stomachs. By this afternoon, the staff were told by the Ministry of Labor that they could be fired for what they were doing and that they better get things unlocked. We are hopeful that things will continue to be discussed and that a longterm resolution will be reached. It is unfortunate that our participants who are coming from all over Zambia have to be caught in the middle of it all.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
The past week of teaching this course on “Counseling and Trauma Healing” has been an emotional rollercoaster ride. The strike ended which helped so that we could print notes and make copies of handouts. We heard the stories of the participants last Wednesday and it was beneficial to know where they were coming from. I taught all day Thursday on the causes and effects of trauma and it seemed to go well. But on Friday, when I taught on children and grief, I felt like I had run into a brick wall. It seemed that the students put up a wall of resistance to all that I said. Whatever I said was discounted as just something from the West. I tried to elicit information on what Zambian traditional cultures taught about helping children grieve. All I could get out of them was that they explained to the children that they were now orphans, they would live someplace else and they had better adjust. Then they were told not to think about or remember the person who died, and if they did, they gave them alcohol so they could forget. There was a pretty big difference between the interventions I was suggesting and the ones they were mentioning. By the end of the morning, I felt hammered. I processed it all with Peter and Carmen and felt a bit better but was hesitant to return to teaching the following week. Carmen has talked to some of her colleagues about this issue and told me that their views were not so extreme and that they were more willing to engage the West and still hold onto what is good of traditional culture. I realized that a majority of the participants are from very rural areas and that these ideas were probably extra foreign to them. It helped to know where they were coming from.
Later Jimmy came over to tell us about his resignation, and we processed the class a bit. Come to find out that an administrator from Mindolo had approached the class while on break before my teaching and had told them to be careful of what I had to say because I was from the West. Of course I want them to think critically about my lectures and adapt it to their culture and the populations they work with but perhaps they took that advice too much to heart. But then the next evening, one of the students came by to visit and he related how the class had gotten together over the weekend and they came to the point where they realized that they had a lot to learn about helping children grieve. They were eager to learn more and began to value the information I could pass on to them. They wished they could have an extra week of class. Over the next few days, I met with different students who were full of ideas of how I could help them set up a counseling center in Lusaka, present various workshops, do research on how traditional cultures help children grieve, etc. etc. What a swing from nothing to say to being the one asked to do it all. Yikes!
I spent this morning trying to teach counseling skills, especially related to trauma. I felt like I was trying to condense three years of training into three hours. It was a little touch and go this morning when I was hoping to print off my notes but the computer wouldn’t work and then when it finally did, the copier didn’t. Had to go with Plan B and teach from the handouts that were printed and leave the other stuff for later. Along with flexibility, I have learned a lot from the participants about their culture and some of the traditional healing practices from the village. I enjoy hearing their stories and discovering values and beliefs that they hold dear. But I’m also ready for the class to be finished so I can get off the rollercoaster ride. It also wasn’t the best time for me to be teaching with MCC retreats bookending the class, the school term ending for the boys, Thanksgiving and Christmas thrown into the mix, and my co-lecturer jetting in and out and having too much to do. I am hopeful that the participants will be able to take some good things out of the class and use it in their own contexts.
We tried yet another church this Sunday, Kitwe Evangelical Church. We were invited by Sung Sik and Shin Ae Park, Han Guyl’s parents. They are missionaries from Korea, working with SIM. We sang “Stand up, stand up for Jesus” and “Bringing in the Sheaves” as well as a few Bemba choruses. Peter liked this church more than I did. He wouldn’t say he liked it, I guess, more that he was intrigued by it. More discussions to follow. The Parks invited us to go out to lunch with them after the service. They took us to a nice take away place that has cheap shawerma. It was very easy to converse with them and I am glad that we are friends with another family of a school friend. New friends and a new place to eat out! Fabulous!
Tuesday, November 26, 2007
So you know how I asked for prayer for flexibility because nothing goes according to plan here? I had occasion to practice flexibility the very first day of class. Monday all the workers at MEF decided to go on strike to gain the freedom to unionize. Not only did they not work but they chose to lock the management out of their offices. Thankfully, the secretary of the Peace Center told the security men not to lock us all out so Peter and Jimmy could get into their offices. The participants who arrived that morning were not able to get keys to their accommodations because the receptionist is on strike. There was no tea served or lunch served because the kitchen staff are on strike. We could not get into the supplies closet to give the participants their materials for the class because that was locked. The water was not turned on because the man who does that is on strike. So you get the picture. All of management was called into a meeting with the director which meant Jimmy couldn’t teach a portion of the morning session so I had to step in. It was all a little crazy. Peter knows more about the whole situation than I do and it appears this has been brewing for several years. It was not clear when a resolution would be reached. Tuesday morning there was a minimal breakfast served but over half our participants didn’t get anything to eat. I quickly ran home and pulled some zucchini bread out of the freezer and brought that and juice so that they could have something in their stomachs. By this afternoon, the staff were told by the Ministry of Labor that they could be fired for what they were doing and that they better get things unlocked. We are hopeful that things will continue to be discussed and that a longterm resolution will be reached. It is unfortunate that our participants who are coming from all over Zambia have to be caught in the middle of it all.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
The past week of teaching this course on “Counseling and Trauma Healing” has been an emotional rollercoaster ride. The strike ended which helped so that we could print notes and make copies of handouts. We heard the stories of the participants last Wednesday and it was beneficial to know where they were coming from. I taught all day Thursday on the causes and effects of trauma and it seemed to go well. But on Friday, when I taught on children and grief, I felt like I had run into a brick wall. It seemed that the students put up a wall of resistance to all that I said. Whatever I said was discounted as just something from the West. I tried to elicit information on what Zambian traditional cultures taught about helping children grieve. All I could get out of them was that they explained to the children that they were now orphans, they would live someplace else and they had better adjust. Then they were told not to think about or remember the person who died, and if they did, they gave them alcohol so they could forget. There was a pretty big difference between the interventions I was suggesting and the ones they were mentioning. By the end of the morning, I felt hammered. I processed it all with Peter and Carmen and felt a bit better but was hesitant to return to teaching the following week. Carmen has talked to some of her colleagues about this issue and told me that their views were not so extreme and that they were more willing to engage the West and still hold onto what is good of traditional culture. I realized that a majority of the participants are from very rural areas and that these ideas were probably extra foreign to them. It helped to know where they were coming from.
Later Jimmy came over to tell us about his resignation, and we processed the class a bit. Come to find out that an administrator from Mindolo had approached the class while on break before my teaching and had told them to be careful of what I had to say because I was from the West. Of course I want them to think critically about my lectures and adapt it to their culture and the populations they work with but perhaps they took that advice too much to heart. But then the next evening, one of the students came by to visit and he related how the class had gotten together over the weekend and they came to the point where they realized that they had a lot to learn about helping children grieve. They were eager to learn more and began to value the information I could pass on to them. They wished they could have an extra week of class. Over the next few days, I met with different students who were full of ideas of how I could help them set up a counseling center in Lusaka, present various workshops, do research on how traditional cultures help children grieve, etc. etc. What a swing from nothing to say to being the one asked to do it all. Yikes!
I spent this morning trying to teach counseling skills, especially related to trauma. I felt like I was trying to condense three years of training into three hours. It was a little touch and go this morning when I was hoping to print off my notes but the computer wouldn’t work and then when it finally did, the copier didn’t. Had to go with Plan B and teach from the handouts that were printed and leave the other stuff for later. Along with flexibility, I have learned a lot from the participants about their culture and some of the traditional healing practices from the village. I enjoy hearing their stories and discovering values and beliefs that they hold dear. But I’m also ready for the class to be finished so I can get off the rollercoaster ride. It also wasn’t the best time for me to be teaching with MCC retreats bookending the class, the school term ending for the boys, Thanksgiving and Christmas thrown into the mix, and my co-lecturer jetting in and out and having too much to do. I am hopeful that the participants will be able to take some good things out of the class and use it in their own contexts.
Counseling and Trauma Healing participants(You can tell who the American is - the one smiling!)
As if there wasn’t enough going on, here are a few additional high points and low points:
Jason’s Nursery Nativity (High point): I had arranged my teaching schedule so I could attend Jason’s first performance as a Wise Man but they changed the date so I had to dash away from teaching, watch the performance and then hurry back to resume teaching. But it was so worth it because Jason was adorable!!! We have been working on his lines for awhile now: “See, it points us towards the stable ahead,” and “I bring myrrh.” He was perfect! He is so British now, telling us about the stah (star) and the mangah (manger).
Mary, Joseph, Baby Jesus and the donkey squatting nearby
The Three Kings
A job well done
One proud Mommy!Church on Sunday (High point): We returned to St. Andrew’s Presbyterian church and I loved it once again. The Bemba worship made me cry and Peter actually heard his first good sermon. We met many people afterward and the boys connected to some lovely children. It has been hard to keep visiting churches, especially for Brendan, our perfectionist. Every Sunday School he visits expects him to be learning something different: the books of the New Testament at one church, Psalm 23 at another, the Ten Commandments at yet another. He tries to do it all but can’t. We need to commit just to make his life easier!
Garden harvest (High point): Tons of basil, the corn is tall, and I picked our first zucchini!
New eyeglasses (Low point): My glasses that I love are on the verge of breaking and they can’t be repaired. A lovely Indian couple helped me pick out a frame that I liked. The service was quick but when I went to pick them up, the lenses were scratched. So I took them back and they replaced the lenses. So now I have these new glasses that I hope will work.
Haircut (Low point): I haven’t had a haircut since June and I needed one desperately. I checked with a few people to see who cuts muzungu hair. Many wait for a certain lady to come from Lusaka and others just go to Lusaka. I decided to try someone here that was recommended to me. Big mistake. The haircut took less than 3 minutes. She wet down my hair just a bit, then cut around the bottom. No checking to see if it was even, no catching of the little tags, just about 5 snips of the scissors and I was done. It’s just hair, it’s just hair, it’s just hair. I went home and attempted to fix it myself. Who knows if I made it any better.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Today is one of those days that I miss living in the USA. I guess some of these things could happen anywhere but the combination of it all today makes me want to go home.
My new glasses give me a headache. There is a reflection back at me from lights, the shiny walls, etc. It’s like looking out a window and seeing your own reflection and so you have to go very close to see out. The optometrist told me to give it a week for my eyes to adjust but it is killing me. I fear that this is just the way it will be. Wish I could go back to the States to get some good eyeglasses.
Jason rode his bike and some kid decided to help “fix” the tire. Now there is a huge bulge and the tire is busted, not just the tube.
So many requests for financial help. I know we are rich Americans but I don’t think I am going to give $4000 to a stranger to allow him to go to school. It is equally hard with people we know who constantly ask if we have a “piece of work” they can do. We already are paying people to work inside and outside. But when a boy (an orphan) we know comes by and says that his grandmother has malaria and that they just took into two more cousin-orphans and none of them have any sort of income, we have to try to find something for them to do. With friends, it is always about setting a precedent. If we just give money, they will be on our doorstep all the time. So we give them jobs and pay them the going rate, to be fair, but that isn’t much.
Sandra is one of those friends who needs money too and so I’ve started having her babysit. The kids love her but that is because they play tag in the house and throw stuffed animals around and she lets Brendan eat four apples and Jason two. Looks like we need to have a little talk. Wish Grandma and Grandpa could babysit instead.
In our class today, we were supposed to take a break at 10:00 and tea was to be served by the dining hall. They didn’t show up until 10:40 with tea service. Some students are very time-conscious when it comes to break and will interrupt to announce that it is 10:00 and we need to break. They also want to end punctually. But why was I the only one present at 14:15 when class was to begin at 14:00? Some days I long for the Swiss train mentality of IBTS.
Peter and I had a bit of comic relief tonight that was much needed. At our regional retreat next week, each country needs to present what they are doing in a fun way. Zambia is doing a series of TV shows/commercials. We are writing new lyrics to an old song, since that is Peter’s gifting, and the words we wrote gave us both the giggles. It felt good to laugh after the stress of the week.
Here are some prayer requests:
- We travel Sunday to Lusaka for our regional retreat. Peter and I are a bit weary but we are also looking forward to connecting with MCCers from all over Southern Africa. We will have a week together and the kids will have fun outings to enjoy as well.
- We are still waiting for a box of books that we mailed last May. It contains much needed resources for Peter’s class preparations and for my teaching as well.
- We feel a bit of the homesickness creeping, Jason especially. He talks about family and friends and life in California a lot and expresses his desire to go back. Christmas is coming and we will be on our own. We will make the best of it but it has been at least a decade since we didn’t celebrate with family and the first time for the boys.
- Wisdom in knowing how to respond to the many needs around us. Friends asking for money is common in this culture but a strain to us as North Americans. How do we balance being generous with being good stewards.
Isn't the coloring on this frog exquisite?
2 comments:
Sounded like quite the rollercoaster Cheryl.
The boys loved seeing Jason in costume! How cool. Aidan wants to know what kind of frog that is.
"Some days I long for the Swiss train mentality of IBTS."
What? WATCH YOUR MOUTH!
HA,HA,HA!!!!
Cheryl, have you heard of the Oasis Africa in Nairobi? They have been running Christian counselling services for over 15 years, established by a Kenyan woman, Gladys Mwiti. Their website http://www.oasisafrica.info lists books and other resources that might help you with the cross-cultural issues you have been facing.
I can well identify with your hair-do story. I arrived in Zambia after two months travelling in Africa, in desparate need of a hair cut, and was sent to a lady in Lusaka who knew how to cut muzungu hair. That was the worst cut I have ever had! You'll need to get Peter trained - that was what my mission agency encouraged. However, didn't really work for me being single.
Praying for you over Christmas, with being away from home. I found having the oportunity to sing familiar carols was very important to me, and since the local church didn't provide that option (they had translations of the carols in their songbook but didn't actually know any!), I teamed up with other expats and we did a Christmas concert.
Blessings
Clare
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