Several weeks ago, a friend asked if we wanted a dog because she had the perfect one in mind for us. Not being a huge dog person, I wasn’t so sure about it. Georgi described this dog as being very gentle, good with kids, and quiet. Our boys have been begging for years for a pet which has been difficult with us moving around so much. After much discussion, we decided now might be the time to finally fulfill Brendan and Jason’s desire for a pet. Peter and I went to meet the dog, Ben, who was at an orphanage on the outskirts of town. We were introduced to Diz, a wonderful British woman who has lived and served in Zambia over 50 years. She runs an orphanage that supports more than fifty children. She is currently adding a room onto the house that will be a recovery room for people from the nearby compound. After the poor receive surgery at the hospital, they are released the next day. Diz wants to provide a sanitary place where they can recover. She has strict orders from God never to ask for money from others. She lives off her pension and God always provides more for the children. As an added bonus, one Sunday, Diz showed up at the same church that we have been attending, St. Andrews. Because she doesn’t drive, she is dependent on another church member to get a ride, which is why we hadn’t seen her before. We were all delighted to worship together as well! Diz is a marvelous woman and we are so pleased to get to know her, apart from getting a dog from her. Diz had Ben as a pup but then gave him to another family. When that family moved, they gave Ben back to her at the orphanage. However, Ben was killing ducks and not getting along with the other dogs so she needed to find a new home for him.
One evening we wrapped up a dog collar and a leash which the boys unwrapped. Then they had to figure out why we would be giving these gifts to them. Brendan said in his most unexpressive manner, “They would be for a dog if we had one.” A few seconds later, it clicked! Brendan and Jason could hardly believe that we were actually going to get a dog! We knew the anticipation would kill Jason but we thought that it would be OK since we were going to get the dog the following morning. 5:45 a.m. Jason was in our bed with the collar and the leash, excitedly telling us all about how he will be good to Ben and how Ben will love being in our family, etc. etc. It was terribly cute even though it was terribly early.
So now Ben has been in our family for a few days. He is a very good dog overall. He doesn’t bark at night which we were worried about with our neighbors. Ben puts up with all the loving Jason gives him. Brendan is training him and enjoying the company. There are times Ben annoys me like when he is so excited to see me that he jumps up, or when he tracks mud through the house (which isn’t so big a deal since we have tile everywhere). He isn’t such a great guard dog since he licks everyone who comes through the gate but we really don’t feel we need to be guarded anyway. So our boys are happy that they have a pet at last. All the neighbor kids who are constantly at our house feel like they have a pet as well so maybe Ben is everyone’s dog. Just like the elderly woman at church who asks after “our grandchildren” meaning Brendan and Jason because the children belong to everyone, so Ben must be “our dog” for the children in the community!
December 25, 2007
Merry Christmas! Being away from family for the first time in 14 years forced us to figure out how to do Christmas on our own. This had distinct advantages and disadvantages. We definitely missed our families and the time together with them. Jason kept talking about snow. We missed worshipping with our church family through Advent and on Christmas. But there were definitely some good things that happened as well. Because there was no traveling involved, Christmas seemed very relaxed. We decided to open all our presents on Christmas Eve this year in an effort to reserve Christmas Day for the celebration of Jesus’ birth. All the boys can think about are presents and so we decided to get that out of the way so that they and we could think about other things that are more important. Many of our friends were away for the holidays but Adrian, our British friend, remained. We were delighted that he chose to be part of our family for Christmas. This deepened our friendship with him and our boys loved that Adrian was with us. Christmas Eve we attempted a service at our church but after showing up half an hour late and being the only ones there, and later discovering that the service wouldn’t start for awhile yet, we headed home. The boys were delighted in the few presents they received, perhaps because they knew that other children were getting even less. We received a wonderful book with stories from around the world and we enjoyed reading them out loud to each other. Adrian read the story from England about Dick Whittington and it certainly added an air of authenticity to hear it in his accent.
Finally time to open presents!
The boys were thrilled with the $2 gifts they gave each other!
We returned home after the service and I prepared a very non-traditional Christmas meal. We all made our own calzones (enclosed pizzas) which was a little crazy but it worked. Jenny, our British friend brought Samuel, an older orphan that she has befriended. She also brought traditional British Christmas things to celebrate like masks, crowns, poppers, and horns. Later we celebrated Jesus’ birthday with cake. We each drew pictures of a gift we are giving Jesus this year and then shared that with each other. Adrian remained with us after Jenny and Samuel left and Peter and Adrian played a few games of chess while I took a nap. The only traditional thing about our Christmas was the peppernuts I baked and we all enjoyed, even though Ben thought they looked a lot like his dog food. It was a good day, different than any other Christmas we have spent, but definitely good.
A very festive Christmas dinner!
The generous spirit of Christmas fizzled away when I lost it with all the community kids on my porch. There are several new kids that have joined the regular crowd and some are causing trouble. All day I felt like I was yelling at them to stop this or that: Don’t throw mud at each other, stop playing the kicking game which has been banned at our house, aim your arrows away from people, if you hit each other and beat each other when angry instead of talking out your disagreements you will not be allowed to come to our house, there is no need to push and shove because I will give water to everyone, etc. I am ready for the rest of the kids to go back to school. Several hours in the afternoon are enough for me instead of all day every day. Even Christmas, we explained that our boys would not be playing and that they needed to leave and come back the next day. They kept coming back anyway and we had to give them the same message several times. Sometimes I get so exasperated! In my good moments, I realize that they are incredibly bored and want interaction not only with my boys but also with adults. Whenever Peter or I engage with them, they are delighted. Our boys need me to be supervising the other children when they play because the same rules are not followed. Back in the States, my friends and I spent long hours playing with our children and teaching them how to play with each other. If we had stayed, our kids would be able to play nicely together because they had been taught from an early age. I finally realized that I would have to do it all again with different kids even when I thought I would get a break now that my kids were a bit older. I’m trying to figure out what the best way to do this would be. I’m toying with the idea of doing a sort of Kids Club one afternoon a week where I would do an activity with the children and spend time with them. That may also give me the chance to do some teaching and modeling of kind behavior. There is a kind of voraciousness that is hard for me to handle but that I know stems out of poverty. If I bring out paper and crayons, they dive on it. When I bring out magazines for them to look at, they pounce on it. But then they settle and enjoy doing the activity. This Kids Club idea may be a difficult thing to do but we have three years with these kids and it may be better to invest in them now rather than be frustrated.
Friday, December 28, 2007
It is most apparent that I am a foreigner when it comes to “keeping time,” as Zambians like to say. I attended a Kitchen Party (Bridal Shower) last Saturday and it was supposed to start at 13:00. My friend suggested that we go at 14:00 which seemed like a good idea to me. The party finally began at 15:45, nearly three hours after the start time! Our church is supposed to start at 9:00. Peter is wiser than I and insists that we leave our house at 9:00 instead. We usually finally start around 9:30 or 9:45. We showed up on Christmas Eve for a service and arrived half an hour late. After sitting around for awhile, we learned that it probably wouldn’t start for another hour or so since people were still getting off work. So crazy! The pastor and other congregants say they are wanting to keep time and trying to train the church to start on time which makes me feel like we should be on time to help the effort. But it is also brutal to wait with the kids for more than a half hour for things to begin. I think we will aim for being a half hour late and when we actually enter a service already in progress, we will start to come earlier!
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