Lots to Learn

Saturday, October 6, 2007

We were hoping to redeem ourselves by giving Brendan a special birthday party. We talked together with Brendan about what would make it special to him and who exactly he would like to have at his party. He finally agreed that he would invite Yahya and Naila from next door, Lazarus, Gideon, and Lumono from the compound. With him and Jason that would make seven, the age he is turning. He wanted to do perler beads (you put beads on a form then iron it so that it sticks together) and then watch a movie with his friends. Easy enough. We made invitations yesterday and gave them to these friends and made sure that they knew they could not bring other friends along and that they didn’t have to bring a birthday gift to come. They all came an hour early but they played on the porch until we were ready. This was the first time we allowed them to come into the house and we kept the party in the living room and dining room. There was a lot of laughter as they made designs with the beads. When I ironed the beads together, they said, “Auntie! Eet eez mahjeek!” We quickly moved into the movie time because they wanted to touch everything and go everywhere and they were banging on the piano and I was getting a bit overwhelmed. They settled onto the couches to watch a movie and I brought out apples and popcorn. I must have cut up at least two apples per child and when I brought the additional apples out, they pounced on them and grabbed like there was no tomorrow. I’m not sure if this is because they were so hungry, they don’t normally get apples, or if they aren’t taught the same manners we teach in the West. We ate chocolate cake that Brendan had decorated and he had help blowing out the candles which he didn’t particularly appreciate but handled well. Things deteriorated quite quickly after that so we shooed them all outside to play. We think Brendan had a good time and felt celebrated and since there was no tantrum in the evening to indicate otherwise, we will assume that this wasn’t the worst birthday party ever.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Finding a church home for our family is not going to be easy. This morning we attended the Methodist church here on campus, called UCZed. The choir was fabulous and I loved that part of it. The boys and I ended up leaving part of the way through and allowed Peter to stay for the sermon about which he didn’t have a lot of positive things to say. It is a big struggle because we would love to find a church that is small, African, English-speaking, participative in worship, and nearby. That is a tall order. Many of the churches are huge and nearly everyone is involved in some kind of building project. Announcements can be up to 45 minutes long, mostly consisting of telling people they need to give more money for the building project. I love the African music but I also want to sing and if there is a good choir, they do all the singing for you. A lot of churches are in Bemba but some have an English service as well. It would be lovely for the kids to go to Sunday School, knowing this is different that what they are used to in California. Here it usually means a teacher taking them to a corner of the lot and talking to them. We can handle the differences in theology or simply the lack of theological education that is coming from the pulpit if there is a sense of worship, community and discipleship. In the three churches that I have visited so far, we have been the only muzungus. While that is fine in some respects, it also creates weird dynamics. But we don’t want to go to a muzungu church either. There is a Dutch Reformed church that is made up of mostly white South Africans. They have a service in Afrikaan and one in English. We really have no desire to go there, though. Peter and I think we may try to divide and conquer in this area. We will take turns exploring churches while the other stays home with the kids and does a devotional with them. Our church in Pasadena is sending us Sunday School materials so we will be able to do that with them as well. When we find a church that looks promising for our family, then we will try to go together. You can pray for us in this area.

In the evening, we finally had our neighbor, Carmen, over for dinner. Carmen arrived shortly after we did and is here for a year. She is from the Seattle area and knows where Anderson Island is, which thrilled the boys. We discovered that she stayed at IBTS in Prague back in 2000 so she can picture where we lived for two years. She is a graduate of Princeton Seminary and the church that hired her sent her here to do theological training and preaching so that she can return to her pastoral position in the States having a greater understanding of the growing church in the southern hemisphere and to help the North American churches build lasting partnerships with the churches here. Carmen is absolutely delightful and the evening passed quickly. We kicked her out after dinner so we could give the boys some attention and put them to bed, and then she came back when they were asleep. Just like an old friend! We learned a useful tip for when we get a new geyser. She recommends that we have them screw down the lid so that rodents don’t fall in and die. She had a rat drown in her geyser and slowly decompose. We all got the willies thinking of her showering in decomposed rat water. But we also learned much from her about the world around us that we are sheltered from living here at MEF, as she has contact with many people and has seen so much of Zambia already. Some of the information she shared is so discouraging. For example, there is now a new trend for grandmothers who are caring for the orphans of their children who have died from AIDS, sometimes up to ten or twelve of them, to try to contract AIDS themselves. Carmen saw one elderly woman distraught when her HIV test came back negative. She can only get aid if she has AIDS.


Monday, October 8, 2007

I am ashamed that I hadn’t thought of giving Peggy breakfast when she arrives to work in the morning. Carmen’s househelp often does not eat anything at home and is shaky when she arrives for work so Carmen always gives her something to eat. So today I asked Peggy if she had eaten anything this morning. She hadn’t so I prepared her toast with peanut butter. She hasn’t been feeling well lately: fever, headaches, achy joints. Sounds like malaria. I talked with one of Peter’s colleagues while Peggy was working and found out how much it would cost for her to get the malaria test and the medicine she would need. Turns out it is only about 16,000 kwacha, or four dollars. I gave her the money so that she could be treated, knowing that she couldn’t afford it otherwise. How can I not respond to the needs around me, especially those of friends? I have so much, so incredibly much. It is easier to turn away strangers who come looking for jobs, or adolescent boys who want my cell number so they can call me (why?), or people on the street who ask me to take them to America, but with those who we are building relationships with, how can I refuse?

On a lighter note, during our Bemba lesson today, I learned how to say “I want a chicken.” Peggy came up with sentences that she thought would be helpful for me to know when I shopped at the market. I told her that I had only been shopping at Shoprite but she informed me that the store was too expensive and I needed to buy my own chicken at the market. These chickens are alive, mind you. I had lots of questions, one of which was how do you take the live chicken home? Apparently you put the chicken in a plastic bag, allowing its head to poke out of the opening and then you take it on the mini-bus. She was shocked when I told her there were no live chickens on the buses in America. Dumbfounded. She was even more flabbergasted when she learned that I had never killed a chicken before. I think I earned a few extra points for having seen chickens being killed at my uncle’s farm. All I remember is how they flew around with their heads chopped off and blood squirting everywhere. I imagined doing that in my kitchen and having it flop all around and chicken blood going every which way. I made a mental note to attempt chicken murder on days when Peggy will be coming to clean the kitchen.

Last Friday, Christine brought me several samosas she had made. It is like a side business for her at MEF. Co-workers buy them from her for their lunches or snacks. This morning, Peggy taught me how to say a few sentences in Bemba that would allow me to thank Christine. This is what I said, “Natotela pa kumpela samosa. Kumfwika bwino. Chibo. Ci zucchini bread.” Translation: Thank you for the samosas. They tasted good. This is for you. It is zucchini bread.” She understood me, quite an achievement, then rattled off more Bemba at me and I didn’t understand a thing. I was thankful when she switched back into English!

My one goal I wanted to accomplish this afternoon was to wash my hair. Given that my children and all the neighborhood children need something from me every other minute, finding a good time to be unavailable proved challenging. We were invited out in the evening and it was getting late so I finally just did it and prayed for no interruptions. I had barely shampooed my hair when I hear Brendan calling for me. “What???” I yelled with more than a trace of irritation in my voice. “Yahya peed on me!” Brendan yelled back from outside. “You’ve got to be kidding!” I responded. “I’m not,” he replied. “If that is not the most ridiculous thing . . .” I muttered. I made him come in and sit on the toilet while I finished washing my hair. I asked him if he remembered our conversation a week or two ago when we were talking about snakes and what to do if you see one. “Run the other way,” he answered correctly. I told him the same thing applied in this situation. He looked at me blankly, then a look of understanding crossed his face. I love recycled lessons.

In the evening, all the foreigners were invited to Father Charlie’s home for dinner. Father Charlie Thomas, and his wife Rachel, are from India but have lived on the Mindolo campus for over fifteen years. Father Charlie was the previous director of MEF but has decided to return to pastoring in the Anglican Church. Unfortunately, his new post is in Lusaka so his family will stay here one more year and then join him next year. It was a lovely evening with delicious Indian food. The boys were happy playing with the Thomas’ kids. At one point in the evening, Jason came bounding into the living room waving a silver pistol. This is a novelty for our boys who aren’t usually allowed to play with guns. He yelled, “I’ve got a gun and I’m shooting the bad guys.” I quickly responded, “We don’t want to kill bad guys. We want to give them a chance to change!” Laughter erupted in the room. Our poor boys. They will surely be scarred by having a father who is a peace educator and a mom who is a therapist.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

After volunteering in Brendan’s class, I made the 45 minute trek into town. The walk proved to be most interesting. First, a man tried to sell me a fake Christmas tree. I was tempted until I saw that it wouldn’t stay upright on his homemade stand. I kept telling him to take his hand away and then it would tip over. He argued that it was just on uneven ground. No deal. Second, a little girl passed me by and said, “Hello. You look nice. I like you.” Further into town, I saw a car being stolen. Four men grabbed the culprit out of the driver’s seat, pushed him into the back seat and then drove off. The man next to gentleman next to me explained what was happening and said they would take him to the police. (Later I told two different taxi drivers about the incident and they said it wasn’t a theft. The man was trying to use his car as a taxi but he didn’t not have red numbers on his license plate, showing that he hadn’t registered as a taxi driver. The men were plain clothed police who caught him.) While in Shoprite I met my first American (other than Carmen). I introduced myself and discovered that they are missionaries with the Baptist church. Now I have another church option to check out. Todd and Kathy have four children with a boy who is almost seven. I struggle with the gravitational pull toward people who are the same as me. I was thrilled to meet someone who has the same accent as me. I also know our boys would love the opportunity to play with kids from a similar culture with similar assumptions. I love that we are making friends with many Zambians and when the new group of students, that will include people from all over Africa. Even at Lechwe, I have to work hard to understand the English of the Australians, British, and South Africans. But the American accent was sweet to my ears today! Later, I met Miriam next to the canned goods. She is Gideon’s sister whom I met a few weeks ago. I knew I had met her but couldn’t place her until she told me the connection. She has a five week old baby who is adorable. While I want to stay in the struggle regarding the ease of conversations with other Westerners, I know I will have ample opportunity to connect with Zambians, given where we live. Just yesterday, Sandra, our Canadian friend Scott’s host sister, came to our back door. She wanted to make friends with me so I invited her in and we visited for awhile. I think I will need diversity in friendships over the next three years. I am trying to be faithful to be open to whomever I come in contact with, with the view that God has brought them into my life at that moment and I need to respond with love and respect, not knowing if this is a two minute interaction or a life-long friendship forming.

On the way home from picking up the boys from school (I was actually on time today as opposed to yesterday when I arrived half an hour after the boys were released from their classes!), I asked Joe if he could stop at a little stand so that I could buy bananas as there were none at Shoprite today. Instead, he took me down a little side road to a wholesale fruit and vegetable warehouse. He explained that this is where those vendors on the street get their produce, as well as those who sell at the market. I am so delighted to have found this place as it is relatively close to our place and it has good produce at a good price. Score!