Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Since we officially accepted the MCC Zambia position, my mind has been going a mile a minute. We are beginning to get paperwork and resources from MCC that need to be read and completed, we have sent off our passports for additional pages, and we are just trying to wrap our minds around moving to Zambia. We took the boys out to a celebratory dinner and tried to talk about this move and what it will mean for our family. All the books I have read on third-culture kids say to start processing early with your children. This makes sense for Brendan who has a good concept of time. For Jason, I think it would have been better to tell him the day before we left. Both are excited about living in Africa and apparently it is true that the attitude of the parents shapes the kids. We try to talk about some of the difficult things about this move like being away from family and friends for three years. Brendan has begun to ask whether we will see certain people again. Jason is just concerned about which of his stuffed animals can go on safari with us.

At the same time that my mind is whirling, I’m not able to do much. Jason has suddenly lost his ability to play by himself. Then Brendan was home sick for three days. The day he finally felt better, Jason came down with it. Last night he finally turned a corner, but this morning I threw up. I was already in a bit of a funk from all of this, but then I became really depressed when we received word that our brother-in-law’s niece died on Sunday. She was six years old and has been battling aplasti-anemia for the past few years. I keep thinking of them and trying to imagine their pain. I can’t. I keep remembering the feeling of being in utter grief and knowing that other people are just carrying on with their lives some with compassion and others without a clue. That thought hits me after I laugh out loud at a funny e-mail or am watching the Amazing Race. So I keep praying for Dan and Cindy, Logan’s two little sisters, and the rest of the family.

I had a bit of time to myself last Friday morning and I needed to get out of this funk. My friend Lisa laughed when I told her that I was going to spend it in the library reading about AIDS in Africa. Peter wondered if there wasn’t something a bit more life-giving that I could have done with my time, but it was actually good. I know about AIDS in Africa in broad strokes but I wanted to learn more, especially as it pertains to children orphaned by AIDS. There’s nothing like a little perspective to lift you out of a funk.

I’ve been reading a bit on Zambian culture to help prepare me for the years ahead. I’m sure much I will learn by trial and error but it is good to know ahead of time that greetings are very important and that you never ask for what you want until you have asked after everyone in their household. There isn’t much by way of entertainment by Western standards so we are preparing ourselves to simply enjoy shared meals, church meetings, walks, and visiting with people. The boys were very excited about a cultural tidbit that I read in the MCC Zambia handbook. It said:
“Noses: you can pick them. It is ok. You can’t pick your neighbour’s nose, though, just your own. You can use a tissue too, just don’t be offended if not everyone does.” The boys are making the cultural adjustment already so they have to be reminded that we still live in California and nose-picking is not acceptable here.