So Predictable

Monday, September 5, 2011

It has been two months since we moved from Kitwe, Zambia to Fresno, California. Summer is over and we are beginning to get into the American school routine. Along with summer vacation, I have gone on holidays with my blog. But the past few days, I have been waking up with the urge to blog, so I am trying to listen to that voice inside instead of pushing it away. And with this much time that has passed, I figured it was probably time for an update. And even though we moved to the Northern Hemisphere, it still means that we are far away from many of our friends so this could be a good way to keep in touch.

Feeling Giddy

Those first few weeks in July, I was giddy with delight. We moved into our wonderful house (owned by my brother and sister-in-law) on July 4. We had fun setting up our home with our own personal belongings that had been in storage for eight years. On the ledge around our dining room, I was able to put up souvenirs from Lithuania, Czech Republic, and Africa, putting the four years in Africa into the context of the rest of our lives.

I’ll admit that much of my giddiness had to do with being out of Africa. There is much good in Africa but I was ready to move to familiar territory once again. I was ready for the convenience of a dryer, well-stocked grocery stores, cell phones where you didn’t keep running out of talk time, the absence of bugs and rodents in your house, and where things worked (most of the time). We live on the fresh peaches, strawberries, blueberries, and red peppers that I can get at the farmer’s market (and I am not missing the marriage proposals from drunk men). I can buy black beans anytime I want and don’t have to ration my nutmeg or taco seasoning.

Our first week in the Kerckhoff/Huntington neighborhood, we had several opportunities for connection. Kevin and Rhonda threw us a “Welcome Back” Party, having returned after living 18 years away from Fresno. It was great fun to reconnect with old friends and parents of old friends. A few days later, a Neighborhood Potluck was held and we met many new and interesting people who live close by.

Plummeting

I really thought the giddiness would last longer than it did. While there were still many things that I was appreciating, like garbage pick-up and air conditioning, I began to realize that I was feeling a bit down. There were a series of disappointments such as internet orders that were not as expected and the Fresno library being much smaller than the Pasadena and Altadena libraries. Connections with other people were few and far between due to summer vacations and busy lives. Peter was stressed with trying to develop three new courses in just a few weeks’ time and we were juggling one car between the two of us. The rolling pin I had in storage was not as good as the MCC hand-me-down I had in Zambia, my homemade tortillas didn’t turn out the same, and my cookies flopped. We weren’t returning to our home church and we felt displaced while trying to do “church shopping.” All these things were reminders that we were still in transition.

We traveled down to Pasadena for a few days at the end of July to spend time with my parents and see old friends. We had borrowed my brother’s Honda Odyssey (previously owned by us) to make the trip. As we were driving in a familiar vehicle, down familiar streets, going to familiar places, visiting familiar faces, worshipping in a familiar church, it hit us all once again that Pasadena is really what feels like home. I have roots in Fresno and we used to visit family there, but for Peter and the boys especially, it is definitely more like moving someplace new.

With the honeymoon period ending and followed so quickly by this plummet into a funk, I felt so cliché, so textbook. I was mad that I was following the same predictable pattern so many other returning missionaries and international workers experience. I thought, or maybe hoped, that it would be different for me because I was moving to a familiar place, was ready to return to the US, had processed and reflected and prepared myself for the return. But I guess I wasn’t exempt and that’s OK. Especially since I knew what was coming . . .

Leveling out

There are still things that get me very excited about living in the US, like going to the beach, driving up to the mountains, orderly cues at the local water park, and seeing so many different cultures in one place. We absolutely love living near some of our family again. My brother’s family lives five blocks away and there is a lovely give and take between our families, each blessing the other with the gifts that we each have. My parents only live three hours away and have come to visit several times. We have to share them between our two families but so far my brother and I have proved that we are better at sharing as adults than we were as children. Peter’s sister and family recently moved to SoCal and we got to spend a bit of time as they passed through. We hope to be able to see them more. Peter’s folks were a tremendous help moving us in and hope to be back for a visit in October. We enjoy regular communication with them through Skype, something we were unable to do in Zambia.

But there are things that we miss about Zambia as well. We miss our MCC friends and being part of the MCC Zambia team. We miss the slower pace of life, the gi-normous avocados, the warm greetings of Zambians, children to play with our boys, people who know who Lionel Messi is. In Zambia, because some things were hard to get or only available through care packages, we appreciated and savored things more than here where you can get anything you want anytime. Small things were big treats. This does not mean that I am ready to hop on the next plane back to Africa. It just means that perhaps I am a teeny tiny bit more balanced in my outlook.

Relationships with others are forming little by little and I am hopeful that we will be able to be part of many great communities here. We attended two Open Houses with FPU faculty and it was great fun to meet fascinating people who will work alongside Peter. We attended the church campout of one of the churches that we are considering to be our church home. They too were extremely hospitable and we had many delightful conversations with church members while we enjoyed a weekend in the Sierra Nevada mountains. We are getting to know other people in our neighborhood and the kids have friends a block away that they can invite over to play or go to their house. I had lunch with a new friend last week that was delightful. So there are many opportunities for connection and community that we will enjoy.

Enough about me. Time for an update on the rest of the family:

Peter has been blessed with wonderful colleagues at the Center for Peacemaking and Conflict Studies that is part of Fresno Pacific University. People have shown him the ropes and made him feel very welcome. He put in long hours developing his courses for the Fall but they were ready by the start of classes at the end of August. He donned his scarlet red doctoral robes for Commencement at his alma mater and processed in with the rest of the faculty. He received a compliment from one of his old professors who remembered a class presentation Peter gave his senior year of college. Apparently, instead of merely giving a chapter summary, Peter presented a unique interpretation and showed the depth of his ability to think critically. It was impressive that this teacher remembered that nearly 20 years later and that he took the time to encourage Peter with it.

In early August, Brendan took a test to see if he qualified to get into a school for Gifted and Talented Education (GATE). He passed the test and we are thrilled that he will be challenged in his 5^th grade class (although he completed 5^th grade in Zambia, his agemates here are in 5^th grade this year). The fifth and sixth grade classes alone have over 300 students, about the same size as all of Lechwe, nursery through Grade 12, so that is a big adjustment. He says he likes not being the “smart one” in the class because they are all smart. His teacher gives a lot of work and expects them to show responsibility in getting it done. It was a bit overwhelming at first for Brendan. He said, “The most responsibility they gave us at Lechwe was to walk a key to a teacher in another classroom, but here it is very different!” He will make the adjustment because he is adaptable but it won’t be a breeze anymore. Brendan has also started taking guitar lessons and enjoying that very much.

At first, we were disappointed that Jason was not able to attend the GATE school but have since realized that he wasn’t ready for the intense work ethic of that school. He is attending the local school a block away and has a good teacher that will help him build a solid educational foundation. We will wait to see if trying to get into Manchester next year will be a good option for him. Jason is one of a handful of Caucasian students in a sea of Hispanic kids at Jackson. Thanks to his similar experience in Africa, this doesn’t seem to phase him a bit. He had a very enthusiastic first day of school but then I think it donned on him that he has to KEEP going to school every day for many more months and his excitement waned a bit. Jason has discovered the joys of buying off ebay with the allowance money he accumulated in Zambia. He inherited his impatient gene from his mother and it rears its ugly head when waiting for a package. His item was supposed to come on Tuesday or Wednesday but by Thursday, it still hadn’t arrived. He was ready to sue the mail carrier, but I told him it wasn’t the mail carrier’s fault. So then he was going to sue the post office, and then ebay. We discovered that the item was coming from Hawaii and soon even that lovely island was in line to be sued. Every day was the worst day of his life until he came home from school on Friday to find that the small Lego figure of Count Dooku had finally arrived and suddenly it was the best day of his life. He lives in extremes, this kid.

First Day of School

So there you are. Our transition in a nutshell. No matter where we move, we always take ourselves with us so there is ample room to learn and grown. But life is good. Although we don’t always know how to integrate our experience of living in Africa into our new life here, we remain thankful for both the little and big things that we have here in America and for the gifts we were given from our time in Africa.