Limbo Land

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Well, no one showed up for my Grief and Loss workshop for parents last night, except the PTA representative who was bringing cookies. She and I had a nice chat until we decided no one was coming and we should go home. Thursday afternoon brought a handful of parents so we sat in a small circle and discussed the topic together. I was a bit disappointed by the turnout but that’s the way it goes sometimes.

Monday, May 3, 2010

I arrived at Lechwe this morning to teach the day’s lesson on grief and loss to one class. It turned out that both the third grade teachers were absent so the two classes were combined with the headteacher taking over teaching responsibilities. It was pretty chaotic as chairs and desks were moved and places found for everyone. The headteacher was also trying to introduce two new pupils to other classes. The lesson I taught included one of the more complicated activities at the end but somehow we managed. The children were able to engage in the discussion and think about the various feelings that come with loss. I was exhausted by the end but also satisfied.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

I finished preparing my last lecture for the trauma course I will be teaching at Africa Peacebuilding Institute (API) this year. So now I am all set for teaching the week of May 25. Peter came home in the evening with the news that one of the facilitators for next week now can’t come and needs to come a different week. Since the other facilitators are coming from different countries, it is easiest if I make the switch with her. So now I am on for next week which is fine since I am ready. It is also fortunate that next week, the family we carpool with is able to take and bring the kids from school every day since the father is on school break.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Poor Peter. Life is pretty hectic for him these days as he prepares for the arrival of 28 participants from all over Africa for API. He is an amazing administrator and has things under control, at least those things which he can control. He just heard that the other facilitator for next week is also unable to come. Thankfully, that facilitator was able to refer a colleague who is also well-qualified to teach that course.

In our time here at MEF, the Peace Center has seen a lot of changes. The first coordinator left a few months after we arrived. Peter worked alongside two other colleagues, one of which became the second coordinator. The second coordinator was here for 1.5 years and then she left, leaving just Peter and Mukunto. Mukunto was named the acting coordinator and no other staff hired so it was still just the two of them. This week, Peter learned that Mukunto has the amazing potential opportunity to attend the University for Peace in Costa Rica. He might be given a full scholarship to work on his masters degree. He would leave in a month and would be gone for a year, returning home after we finish our term. This means that only Peter will be left in the Peace Center. It is hard to “build capacity” in colleagues and the Peace Center when you are the only one left. His “contract” clearly states that he can not be coordinator, as his role here is as lecturer, but MEF has no money to hire someone else and even if they did, the process would likely take so long that Mukunto would be back by then. Peter will miss working with Mukunto, if he goes, so it is a personal loss as well. But we can’t begrudge him this wonderful opportunity either.

This week, several MEF employees went to the local paper and essentially badtalked the institution and alluded to mismanagement of funds and resources. On the heels of this story, MEF’s internet provider decided to turn off the internet until their outstanding fees were paid. Zesco, our electric company, also threatened to turn off power due to unpaid bills but MEF went and pleaded with them to keep it on. So far it hasn’t been cut, which is a blessing, especially because water goes when power goes. But it is a pain to be without internet, especially with all the API participants arriving soon and they will want to let their families know they safely arrived.

Next week a consultant from the World Council of Churches (WCC) is coming to do an evaluation of MEF, which we think will determine the outcome of funding for this year. MEF has been waiting and holding its breath to see if they will be funded. Students are here and courses are going on as usual but if it is decided at the May WCC board meeting that funding will not be given, we are in a heap of trouble. API is funded by MCC and so will go on as planned. But the rest is unknown.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Our neighbors across the road were broken into last night. The robber was able to remove the burglar bars on the front window, thus gaining access to their electronic goods and a bag of mealie-meal. Apparently, as the robber was crossing the football pitch for his getaway, a security guard who was sitting under a tree saw him. (You may wonder why the security guard was sitting instead of patrolling the campus but I cannot answer that question.) The guard used his catapult (slingshot) to pelt the robber, who dropped the bag of mealie-meal so he could run faster but hung onto the electronics. Stashed in the dropped bag of mealie-meal was a large knife. It isn’t clear if this was a tool or a weapon, but in any case, everyone is thankful that no one was hurt.

Friday, May 14, 2010

So all this week I have been teaching an intensive called “Trauma Awareness and Healing” at API. My class had 19 participants hailing from Nigeria, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Malawi, Uganda, Sudan, Ethiopia, and Kenya. The participants were talkative and engaged and eager to learn. There was much discussion and sharing from personal experiences. Samuel, from Sudan, had made arrangements with me that occasionally he needed to go out for a smoke and miss a bit of class. He was telling me later that he wanted to quit but hasn’t been able to yet. He was a soldier in Sudan and there would be times when they wouldn’t have anything to eat for a week but they had cigarettes and that is what got them through. He used to smoke several packs a day but is down to one pack. When he described some of the experiences he went through, the wife of the (conservative) Brethren in Christ bishop of Zambia, graciously commented to him, “I think it may have been a good thing that at least you had cigarettes.”

Participants came to me at break times to share about personal situations, entrusting me with their stories. In class, we heard about the violence in Nigeria and Sudan from those who are right in the middle of those conflicts and working hard to be part of the solution. One morning we watched the documentary “War Dance.” This is an amazing movie that follows the lives of three Ugandan children who are from a displacement camp in Northern Uganda as they, along with their school, compete in the national music festival. Several of the Ugandans in the class are from that community and actually know these children personally. It was a gift to hear how these children are faring now, several years later. One of the main children featured, Nancy, has completed school having been sponsored with an MCC scholarship.

At the very end of the week, before they completed their evaluations, I told the class how grateful I was to have had the chance to teach and learn alongside all of them. As is the custom, someone was selected to give an official word of thanks from the students. Before we sat down, Samuel from Sudan had something he wanted us to do together. He explained a ritual that involved the students clapping a certain rhythm then “throwing” it to me. I had to catch it and hold whatever they had “thrown” to me. They clapped the same rhythm and then I “threw” it back to them and all of them caught it. A similar ritual was done with my family when we visited Needs Care School in 2008 as a kind of welcome. But here the meaning was a bit different. When the students clapped and threw, it was a gesture of gratitude for the information and teaching I gave them. When I threw it back, it was symbolic of my wish for them to take what they had learned and use it. It was a beautiful ritual and the perfect way to end the class.

In the middle of the week, I celebrated my birthday, recalling that I am getting perilously close to turning 40. Jason woke early, excited to give me the present he had made with Erin, a beaded necklace of many colors. I wore it to class that day and the participants thought it was great. Lucius, a participant from Malawi, shares my birthday, so in the afternoon I brought lollipops for everyone as a way to celebrate (and to keep people from nodding off with a belly full of nshima). I had gone to a curio market last Saturday and bought a beautiful bowl carved out of ebony, a gift from Peter. We tried the Greek Club for pizza again and this time they had cheese. We also discovered that on Tuesday nights, you can buy one pizza and get a personal size pizza free so now our fridge is loaded with pizza for the next couple of lunches. Brendan wanted to buy me cake for my birthday gift but even though the menu said fresh cakes made daily, this must not have been one of those days. We ordered a bowl of ice cream to share which came with three spoons. The men in the family snatched up the three spoons and proceeded to feed me (maybe they thought I was getting too old to feed myself, a foretaste of what is to come many birthdays from now). Peter gave me nice tidy bites but Jason’s spoon was overflowing which made it all a bit more challenging, especially when I started to laugh. It was sweet of Brendan to come up with a gift like dessert, since that is something we don’t normally order.

All during the month of API, we will have facilitators over on Tuesday nights for tea and dessert and the participants over in groups of eight on Thursday nights for the same. On Thursday, a lovely reverend from Uganda, was asking the two ladies from Zimbabwe to share more about how it is for them there. It is always a gift to be part of these interactions, and to see people from different African countries learning more about the experiences of each other.

It is good that API is so wonderful since other things seem to be falling apart. Internet did get restored through much begging and a bit of money from the API budget, so that is good. But the consultant from World Council of Churches who came during the week was not pleased with what he saw. We heard he raked the management over the coals and was not snowed by the vague answers he received from administrators. He held a meeting with the participants and told them that MEF was in the ICU (intensive care unit). I don’t know how much care MEF is getting but it is clear that we are in critical condition. The participants were told they better pray hard that money can be found to keep them here on scholarship, otherwise they will be sent home. So now we are waiting for what the outcome will be. All this waiting is very difficult for an impatient person like myself. I’ve had plenty of life circumstances involving waiting that you would think I’d be better at it by now but it is still difficult.

Peter and I realized that part of the reason we are fatigued by this waiting is because MEF has been in limbo since last November. That means we have been trying to be patient for seven months. So we limp along, try to find motivation to do what we can while waiting, feeling bad for the employees who are waiting for paychecks to be issued from the past few months, and a bit anxious about the future.

Friday, May 22, 2010

An MCCer from Uganda, who is here for API, asked if she could come bake a cake at our house. The wife of a Ugandan colleague who is also here at API, asked Kelly if she could provide a cake for Rev. Nelson and deliver a present to him on his birthday. So Kelly made and decorated a beautiful cake for Rev. Nelson and we sang to him at tea break and devoured the cake together. Kelly had found one small blue balloon which she taped to Rev. Nelson’s shoulder. Every time I looked at him, I had to giggle. Here is this lovely, distinguished Ugandan man, in a nice suit jacket with a blue balloon taped on his shoulder. He kept his shoulders stiff and thrown back, looking very proud indeed, with a huge grin on his face. It was priceless. I giggle now just remembering it.