Crazy with Carmen

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Despite me suffering from a headache and “running stomach,” we headed off to St. Andrews for the morning service. The church parking lot was swarming with red ants and within seconds of getting out of the car, Brendan had several bites on his feet. I had to pinch one ant off that had attached itself between two of Brendan’s toes. As we ran to the sanctuary steps, there was a cockroach scurrying ahead of us. Even the roaches were trying to escape!

During the service, I felt foggy and faint (no longer feeling fat due to the nausea and running stomach) but I managed to stay upright. When it came time for the prayer of confession, I heard the liturgist say that “Mrs. Smith” would give the prayer of confession. As the church sang a short chorus, I tried to pull a few coherent thoughts together. But just as I was about to stand and pray, Mrs. Stein sitting behind us, began to pray. I breathed a sigh of relief for having dodged that bullet. Little did I know another bullet was on its way. It came time for the prayer of intercession and this time, it was clearly “Mrs. Smith” who was called on to pray. This time there was no chorus so I stood up and gave it my best shot. Peter said later he was thinking about standing to pray instead of me, but when I stood, he focused on praying for me instead. A friend after church thought I had malaria but since the clinics are closed, I couldn’t get tested. Instead of waiting for it to get worse, she suggested I take the malaria medicine and nip it in the bud. I don’t have the high fever but a splitting headache that comes and goes as well as no energy. This is only the second time I’ve taken the malaria drugs so I think it is worth it, even if it is unconfirmed.

The power went out in the afternoon during the huge rainstorm that blew through. Since the boys were stuck inside and I was flopped on the couch, Peter ended up reading aloud several chapters of our current family book, Bud, Not Buddy. We were all begging him to keep reading, though his voice was starting to go. A great way to pass the powerless late afternoon, even when feeling foggy and faint from malaria.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

To my mother who doesn’t need to worry unnecessarily, skip this entry, please.

We received an alert from the US Embassy in Lusaka with this notice:

U.S. citizens residing in, or traveling through, Zambia are reminded that violent crime is a serious threat in Zambia and are advised to take necessary safety precautions. U.S. citizens living in the popular tourist destination of Livingstone, as well as on the Copperbelt have reported being the victims of armed robberies in recent weeks. U.S. citizens or their families were injured and or lost property in the robberies. The Zambian Police Service likewise continues to report carjackings and armed robberies in major cities throughout the country. All U.S. citizens should monitor local news reports and be aware of their surroundings at all times.

It seems that the “peaceful nation” that Zambia is so proud of being, is in decline. Of course, we know about robberies and carjackings so this is not a surprise. But it is a bit disconcerting. Keep praying!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Sandra came by to visit this afternoon. Sandra graduated from secondary school last year and has since moved to a neighboring town. She used to come by more often, and we would sit for awhile together before she would ask me for something, like to teach her how to drive or to type or give her money to go to Ndola or some such thing. Two weeks ago or so, she popped back into my life, because she had come to Kitwe but didn’t have transport money to get back home. It is hard for me to comprehend making a trip somewhere if you don’t have the money in pocket for your return journey. So she was at my door needing money. It just so happened that Peggy had asked for her salary early and had cleaned me out. I literally had no money in the house. So I could honestly say that I couldn’t help her. But I must admit to being a bit annoyed.

So Sandra was back again and I was curious what would come of this visit. We were on our way to getting Brendan’s haircut shortly so I told her I only had a few minutes to visit. So after the usual greetings, she said cryptically, “I have something that is yours.” I really couldn’t fathom what that might be. She slid a paper to me across the table and said, “This is from you.” I didn’t recognize the paper and admitted how confused I was by her statements. Then I read the paper and found a list of things: bleach, basin, 4 chitenge cloths, cord clamp, surgical blade, 6 pairs of rubber gloves, a suture something or other, and 8-10 other things. It finally dawned on me that Sandra must be pregnant. This is the list that the hospital gives to pregnant women of all the things they must bring with them to the delivery. Imagine bringing your own bleach and cord clamp when the baby’s arrival is imminent. Crazy. Then my focus turned to Sandra, this teenager about to be a single mother. What the “bleep” is she thinking having unprotected sex in Zambia where, sure you might get pregnant, but you also might happen to become HIV+! She didn’t know how it happened and my eyebrows shot up incredulously. It really blows my mind. I guess all the NGOs doing workshops on HIV/AIDS missed a few teenagers in the process because just this week I heard of three unexpected teen pregnancies. I am outraged and saddened and disappointed. And confused. I still don’t know what she was trying to say as she broke the news to me of her pregnancy.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Jason’s class did a presentation in their assembly this morning. Jason started off the program by reciting a poem on cress seeds. He did it perfectly and even in a British accent! On one of the group songs, the children had to make different kinds of faces: happy, grumpy, etc. Jason had the schoolchildren roaring with laughter with his “ugly” face. He is so enthusiastic and expressive that he goes above and beyond the call of duty when it comes to actions. When they sang, “If you’re happy and you know it,” Jason was the one squinching up his eyes instead of just blinking them, wiggling his hips Zambian style instead of just a little shake, and adding a jump to his shouting hooray! He is delightful and dynamic and so fun to watch!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

“When Carmen is here, it is heaven!” This was Jason’s comment precipitated by Carmen buying soda (a rare treat) for our Mexican Fiesta. But I would have to echo those sentiments. We have had Carmen, our wonderful friend who lived across the road from us our first year, staying with us the past week. Having her here has been refreshing. Several months after Carmen left the first time, Peter remarked that he didn’t laugh very much anymore. When asked why, he said that Carmen was gone. Well, we did a lot of laughing these past few days.

Jason is into basketball these day, and being the resourceful kid that he is, he made himself armbands (just like Michael Jordan, he says) and a headband. We adults were going to play Cities and Knights in the evening so Jason made bands that could be used for the arm or the head for our game, in the colors of the pieces that we always choose. Not wanting to disappoint him, we did don these items for our game. I chose to wear it as a headband and it gave me luck because I was the winner that night!

Sunday morning, Carmen joined us for our cricket outing. There were fewer kids present so Carmen got out there too and learned the fundamentals of the game. Later, she and I got a turn to bat and the kids had to field our stellar hits. Running back and forth in the fierce midday sun was tiring but we rose to the occasion. We barbecued sausages afterward and tried to enjoy the picnic but there were a million flies all over our food. Peter dubbed our lunch a Fly Braai (they rhyme in case you don’t speak Afrikaans).

On Carmen’s last day here, she wanted to take me out for something special, so we went to a small café for a morning brunch. After looking at the menu, we attempted to order. Cheese and tomato omelette? No cheese. Well, that took out a bunch of options. Chicken and avocado salad? No avocado. Are the muffins fresh? Yes, they are frozen and then we microwave them. Samoosas? Nope. We took our leave and tried to figure out Plan B. We decided to go to the Mukwa, Peter and my favorite restaurant. But we had time to kill before they started serving lunch so we went to the closing sale of the most expensive boutique in town. The owner gets a lot of goods from South Africa, catering to ex-pats, but the prices are astronomical, even with a huge sale. But Carmen found wigs for the boys that were a decent price and you never know when a red wig and a yellow wig will be needed. When we got to the Mukwa, we heard that a new Indian chef had been hired and we were handed a menu with an amazing array of tasty dishes. We ate aloo methi and chicken tikka masala that was to die for, along with garlic naan. It did turn out to be special but we certainly had to work for it!

We have enjoyed so many good talks with Carmen. She loves to engage the struggle, whatever that may be, and is wise and tender and wonderful. Adrian was able to come over several nights for dinner and games so we could all enjoy the time with Carmen. Our last evening, we were sitting around and discussing dreams. Carmen wondered aloud, “What makes us dream?” Carmen then mused about our sub-conscious and what we might be working out in our dreams. Adrian added his opinion: Cheese. Cheese?! That sent me into gales of laughter. Funny that theory never emerged in my psychology textbooks. But he was a dairy farmer after all. It was hard to take him seriously with the red wig on but I think he was dead serious about the correlation between eating cheese and dreams.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The headteacher asked me to construct a multiple choice test on conflict resolution to give to the Year 3-6 students to see if they were understanding the material (and to check if the teachers were actually teaching the lessons). This morning, I went through the results with the students and reviewed together the correct answers. I was actually fairly pleased with the results, except Brendan’s class (Year 4) who did worse than the Year 3 kids.

In the afternoon, I was standing around talking with a few moms, waiting for football to finish and two of the moms were discussing a third friend who was in a conflict with her mother. The friend has an opportunity to move to England and really wants to do it but her mother keeps nagging at her to stay so she is finally giving in. A Year 5 student who was there listening said, “She’s a turtle,” alluding to the five approaches to conflict. I praised her for her insight and asked what approach would be more helpful and she could answer correctly. So I guess some of this stuff is sinking in.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

It could just be post-Carmen blues but I am having a bit of a pity party today.

The air conditioning on our vehicle is kaput again (we had it fixed for one month) and this time the compressor is going to cost several hundred dollars. The weather is always in the high 80s and the fierce African sun seems to make it feel hotter. With the windows down, the hot air swirls around our car, my arm gets sunburned, and the exhaust from all the vehicles that spew horrid fumes makes me nauseous. I will gladly eat lentils daily but, as I have said before, no air conditioning makes me sweaty and grumpy.

It was the boys’ last day of the second term today and so the other moms were talking about where they are going on holidays: South Africa, France, home to Venezuela. We get to go to Choma, a small town in Southern Province, for team meetings. It will be fine to spend time with the rest of our team and meet Reps from other countries in Southern Africa but it really can’t compare to France.

The man with the “penis problems” was back. “It’s me, Joseph,” he always says and points toward the problematic region. I tried to be kind and gave him a bit of money for a procedure the first time. I gave a bit more when he came back needing more help. When he came back a third time, I refused him and told him that I wasn’t going to give him any more money for his “penis problems.” Well, he ignored that and was back on my doorstep again, needing money for an injection. I refused him again, because I felt like I needed to stand by my word and not reinforce him continually coming to me. I asked him if he asks anyone else at MEF for money and he smiled and said, “No, just you.” “See, that is the problem,” I replied. I’m not your ATM (I thought but didn’t say). I kept saying that he needed to beg from others and not just the white woman because I’m not giving him any more money. Then he says, “For Jesus, you give it to me.” Now that is a low blow. Leave Jesus out of this, why don’t you? Joseph refused to leave and kept pleading and pointing to his penis. Heavens. When he asked for a cup of cold water, I was so fed up already, I even refused him that. Crap. That is even in the Bible. I am going to hell for sure. When I die, Jesus is going to say, “Remember Joseph and his penis problems?” Double crap.

Several times a day, I have to weave my way around countless potholes between our house and the MEF gate, due to taking the boys to school and work projects. The road is so bad after the rainy season, that there is really no way to avoid them. Then the road from the gate to the main road has eroded so badly on both sides that the two lanes are really more like one. But right in the middle of the road, there is one gigantic pothole, so that you either have to drive on the opposite side of the road or swerve over to the nonexistent shoulder to avoid it. However, there is a steady stream of people who also walk on the road and sometimes you have to make a choice, avoid the people or avoid the pothole. I “hoot” my horn a lot and hope that the pedestrians will step off the road so that I can actually drive in my lane. I really miss sidewalks.

I bought a package of “sticky stuff” (white tacky stuff that you use to put papers on the wall) at Shoprite. When Peter opened up the package, there was a big hunk torn off it. A few weeks ago, I bought a package of chicken boullion and one square was missing. Theft is everywhere, even in these little tiny things. There always seem to be Shoprite employees in every aisle and I wonder if they are stationed there to keep an eye on people with sticky fingers. But usually those employees are chatting with other employees which makes me wonder at the effectiveness of this strategy. Packages here aren’t sealed with extra plastic wrap which is probably better for the environment but also better for stealing bits and pieces of whatever is inside.

We’ve always had cockroaches and I’ve made my peace with that. Although when one fell out of the cupboard just now, I was none too pleased. But the thing I detest is ants and it seems that lately, they are all over my kitchen. Any dirty dishes left by the sink for what seems like 8 seconds, will have a trail of ants on it. Aaaargh.

I know, I know. We could have no car at all, as we have experienced before. We could be like most Zambians and not even dream of a fantastic getaway. It could be Peter with the penis problems instead of Joseph. It could be me walking on the road to get where I needed to go. It could be our car instead of boullion cube (oh wait, that already happened). It could be a snake instead of insects. But rational, grateful thoughts aren’t invited to the pity party.

Meanwhile, Jason said he had the best day of his life today. He won the “Helper” award at the end of term assembly and then his class went on a field trip to Wimpy’s (a new fast food establishment). Brendan played one of his piano pieces at the assembly and did wonderfully, despite the piano book falling on his hands in the middle of the piece. He had flatly refused to participate in the assembly or the recital prior to the music examination which is in two weeks time, but after a good talk that we had, he later changed his mind. It was his choice and perhaps that gave him permission to go for it. I don’t know but I am proud of him for taking on the challenge.

Easter Sunday, April 4, 2010

Because we had to leave for Lusaka by noon, we weren’t able to attend church. Being Easter and celebrating communion, there was slim chance we could get out and on the road when we needed to. So we did home church together, greeting each other with “Christ is risen!” and “He is risen indeed!” We sang a few Easter songs then Jason read the Resurrection account found in Matthew and Brendan read the story from John. Then we discussed the differences in the stories and had a good time with that. But then Brendan wanted to go on because he wanted to read the part about Thomas meeting Jesus. Then Jason insisted that he read Jesus on the road to Emmaus so we just kept reading. It was great. We hid a few Easter eggs outside for the boys to hunt down and then we packed up and left for Lusaka.

I was not looking forward to 8 hours in a hot car but my friend Georgi said we could use her brand new Toyota Hillux truck while her family is in France. There are only 5150 kilometers on the gorgeous truck and she was able to part with it. So generous. We drove in style and Peter and I commented that simply driving in the truck was like being on vacation. So whenever we are in the truck, that is when we are on holiday. Sweet.