Lessons Learned

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

As time goes by, I find my perspective changing. When we first arrived, it was so easy to compare our life to how it was in North America. As I become more immersed in this world, I am beginning to compare our situation to those around me. Instead of looking back, I am trying to look around. I went to visit Gideon’s home the other day since the boys like to play there and I wanted to know where it was in case I couldn’t locate them. I met his mom and sister and some of his siblings. Their home is on the MEF campus and is a small two room adobe house. The parents and the six kids all reside there. Outside they have a hut for their chickens and chicks. The boys love to play “chick chase” and the chickens all go berserk. They are selling chicks and Brendan wanted one as a pet. That was until I told him that, in the end, the pet becomes our dinner and then he was not so interested. Seeing their place made me thankful for our spacious home. It was a good reminder that it is all relative.

Words to live by:
Work while the water is on.
Love the lizards.
Squish the big, hairy spiders.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

This afternoon Brendan and I engaged in serious negotiations about something he wanted to do that I didn’t want him to do. He and Gideon had found some berries and they wanted to mash them up. I didn’t want berry juice all over his clothing because they are hard enough to get clean. We finally agreed that he would stand back and watch Gideon do it but on no account was he going to get berry on him. About half an hour later, Brendan came inside with big tears in his eyes. He had berry splattered all over his shirt and his pants. Gideon had insisted that Brendan help him carry the bucket and it had splashed on him. Brendan felt so bad that he had disobeyed me. This hasn’t been the case lately; the part about him feeling sad, not the disobeying part. We talked about how sometimes I know a thing or two and it would be helpful for him to listen to me (an ongoing issue) but that I was thankful that he didn’t have his usual “whatever” attitude (another ongoing issue). His consequence (not punishment) is to help me do laundry on Saturday and he will have to work hard to get those stains out. By the end, he will realize that laundry here is hard work! He continued to cry for a long time and I am just wondering if he has been holding back all his feelings for a few weeks, which contributed to his “whatever” attitude. If he let one feeling out, then it might all come tumbling out, which is what finally happened today. I didn’t like to see him so sad but it was refreshing to see my little boy with a tender heart again.

Last week we received an invitation to attend a “cocktail party” introducing the Reverend Daka as the new director of MEF. We felt this was something that we needed to attend, though not really our ‘cup of tea.’ Our other dilemma was finding a babysitter for the kids. Most everyone we knew was going to the party as well. We finally asked Scott, the Canadian who is here running sports camps, and he agreed to come. Our boys were thrilled! I made pizza for them, a treat for Scott as he eats nshima every night with his host family. I “paid” him with zucchini bread and snickerdoodles.

We didn’t know what to expect with this “cocktail party.” The cocktail party took place at a guesthouse, like a bed and breakfast type place. There was a big tent and loud music playing. We were ushered under the big tent and told, “You stand under the tent and you interact with people.” Nice to have instructions. There was a bit of a program where guests of importance were recognized, including the mayor of Kitwe. The new director said a few words as well and then we were served a plate of different appetizers. Then we stood around and “interacted with people” for a bit longer. I feel like I don’t know very many people, except the few other white folk that aren’t too shy to talk to me. Towards the end, I recognized a woman who works at MEF who had tried so hard to befriend Jason our first day here. I went over and introduced myself to Christine again and met the woman she was standing with. Turns out that woman was Sister Margaret, not a nun but the nurse who works at the clinic here at MEF. I had been trying to meet her the past few days but she hadn’t been in the clinic when I was there. So I was very pleased to meet her and talk with her. Knowing my boys, being friends with the nurse may prove handy. We had a delightful conversation with a lot of laughter and it felt good to connect with these two ladies.

When we returned home, the kids were fast asleep in bed. Scott said they did just fine but that they sure have a lot of energy! Tell me about it.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Today, I’m afraid, the bad outweighed the good. By a mile. By a million miles. But I learned a lot. I could use a little book learning instead of learning by experience.

My first lesson of the day: if you leave dirty dishes, the ants will come. Last night we decided to leave the dishes because there weren’t that many and the water was off and we didn’t have much spare since we were out all evening and didn’t do our regular fill-up-the-bucket routine. And I was lazy. At the MCC Guest house, they left dishes overnight and the househelp washed them in the morning. So we tried it and we won’t do that again.

My second lesson of the day: mice like to eat plastic bags. Thankfully, the mice did not eat my precious Ziploc bags, just the regular bread bags.

My third lesson of the day: you can go to six different hardware stores in Kitwe and still only come home with a third of the things on your list. However, I did find an enamel covered steel stock pot that was sold on it’s own and I now own it! Most pots are really cheap and come in sets. Now I have two big pots instead of one. That means I can boil and cool water in one and make dinner in the other instead of having to make a choice. This was definitely the high point of my day.

My fourth lesson of the day: hours of operation are mere suggestions. I’ve tried on two different occasions to get to the American Corner of the MEF library that has fiction books. Once again, the hours say it should be open but no luck. On the way back, the boys and I stopped by to see Christine and chatted with her a bit. I learned that she makes samosas and sells them from her office to make a bit of extra money. Good to know.

My fifth lesson of the day: put towels under your door to keep the snakes out during rainy season. I delivered some cookies to Aline, my Muslim friend next door, and she passed on this bit of advice. We sat outside and chatted for a bit and I noticed two plants, one on either side of the door. I asked what kind it was and she replied that it was a special plant from the Congo that keeps snakes away. During the rainy season, they are everywhere and they like to come indoors. Since our doors have an inch gap under them, she recommended putting something there to deter our slithery visitors. As hot and dusty as it is now, I’m not sure I’m looking forward to the rains.

My sixth lesson of the day: if the power company does repairs and says they will be done by 11:00, don’t believe them. The power has been off all day, which also means no water since MEF uses an electric pump. We then heard a rumor that it would be on at 16:00. I guess this is one way to defrost my fridge. At 17:30, I was standing across the road, talking with Jenny and Liz, and trying to figure out what to do about dinner. I had left a few lights on in the house so I would know when the power came back on. I looked over and thought the lights were back on but it could have been the setting sun as well. Then Liz saw a street light on and we all screamed. We took off running to our three separate houses celebrating that the power was back on. The boys were so excited that I was going to make burritos this evening. This is no small task since I have to make my own tortillas. I ran inside and began cooking my minced meat. Ten minutes later, we heard a big bang and the power was off again. The transformer blew and we knew we wouldn’t have power again for awhile. I covered my meat and prayed it would continue cooking enough so that I could at least put it in the freezer for tomorrow. The boys were disappointed, especially since they had to have lunch again for dinner. We ate by candlelight and then watched a video on Peter’s computer which still had a bit of battery left.

My seventh lesson of the day: cockroaches make a very satisfying pop sound when you step on them. The lights came back on at 20:00, much to our surprise. Still no water but I could at least start boiling my saved water to wash dishes. I went to move the frying pan out of the sink and there was a humongous cockroach in it. In the course of the next hour, Peter and I killed at least 20 cockroaches, most of them too large for my tastes. The bottom of my crocs are covered with cockroach juice. They are under my stove, fridge, and all my cabinets. Lovely.

My final lesson of the day: TIA. I learned a very helpful phrase from Jenny and Liz today. TIA: This is Africa.

Peter thinks I should have titled today’s blog: Animal Planet. Ants, mice, snakes, cockroaches. I’d rather watch it on TV than have to live in it. I’m not happy.

P.S. As I went to pull my mosquito net aside to crawl into bed, there was a spider on the net, right at eye level. It was a perfect end to a perfectly horrible day.

Monday, September 24, 2007

We had two relatively bug free days which was a blessing. The cockroaches have retreated so now I am trying to convince myself that they just aren’t there. It is hard to always walk into the kitchen and surveying the floor for scuttling roaches. Out of sight, out of mind. Sometimes denial is necessary for survival.

We attended St. John’s Anglican Church yesterday morning. It was quite small with about 25 of us present. Although I like liturgy, this was a bit too “high church” for my tastes. The people we met afterward were lovely though. As you leave the church, you shake hands with everyone who is standing in a line. This time even Jason shook hands with everyone. I finally met Mrs. Thomas, the wife of Father Charley. They are Indian and she is a pediatric doctor at the local hospital. Two students at the seminary talked with the boys and I and they were delightful. We will keep looking for a church home but it was good to at least check this one out.

Jenny had a party yesterday afternoon to celebrate the arrival of her crate that she packed and shipped six months ago. It was a lovely idea but as we all sat in her crowded living room, the stifling heat was a bit too much. I was glad to meet a few people but then we returned home. The boys were out playing much of the day, coming in with injuries from time to time. Jason has a huge bruise on his foot that almost looks like he sprained it a bit. Brendan tried to climb a wooden pole but slipped down and got a burn on the back of his arm. Then there were the minor scrapes and cuts. By evening, Brendan had diarrhea and was chilled when he came out of his bath. When we checked on him before we went to bed, he had a high fever and complained of a sore throat and headache. With the help of medicine, his fever broke in the middle of the night. Jason was up for two hours in the middle of the night and don’t know what that is all about. I guess if it is not one kind of bug, it is another.

Well, Peter took Brendan to a clinic this morning to have him tested for malaria. Anytime we have a fever, it is recommended that we get tested right away. His test came back negative but a friend of ours was tested and it was too soon to come out positive. He was tested again a day later and it showed up positive. So we are not ruling it out still. If it is malaria, we will see the fever again as it comes and goes.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Well the fever is back and now Brendan is adding vomiting to the diarrhea. I have a sore throat and Jason keeps having bloody noses. It seems only Peter is healthy at the moment.

On a positive note, it rained last night for awhile and that was so refreshing. I planted onions, cucumbers, honeydew and watermelon this morning in my garden. I have a green thumb, literally, because the green garden gloves I bought made it green, along with the rest of my fingers!